Salty in Current Events

I had a panic attack the other day. Usually, they don’t hit me while I’m awake but hi bitch, how are you? I couldn’t tell you what triggered it but gosh, what fun. Maybe I need to admit to myself here that I am letting my anxiety make my choices. I am avoiding and hiding and creating as much distance from my situations. Again. Easy fix but not simple. I tomplicate everything. I think the feelings of shame surfaced when my sister made arrangements to go back to work. I haven’t been doing a damn thing with my life. I haven’t been adding value to anything.

I need to get my car serviced. I should call and arrange a haircut and then get aggressive about finding work. I put the Tom in Tomorrow. This has been the plan every day that I keep putting off. I bought a salt lamp yesterday! That will fix everything… I was excited to see that Winners was open and that there was no line to get in so I impulsively went. I forgot about COVID-19 for a minute. The young ladies working the door had giant plastic shields over their faces. Is this actually the new normal?

I need to remind myself here that I am never going to feel like it. I can’t wait around to feel like doing whatever because that is never going to happen. Nobody is going to come along and force me to get off my ass and get my life together. I just got to do it.