Petty in Weight Loss Surgery

So I’m over Friday. I’ve just resolved to the fact that me and Will may have different weight loss journeys. I can’t make him do anything. And what’s best for me isn’t best for him. I should support him and he should support me.

It’s hard because when you get married you assume you guys will want the same things and support eachother’s goals. And maybe that is the way it’s supposed to be and I’ve chosen the wrong guy, it’s too late now. And I know it’s not “too late” because we could split and divorce at any point. But I’ve also been threatening divorce and not really been able to go through with it because I do love him and want him around so it’s kinda “too late” for me in the sense that I’m prob not gonna divorce him so I’m just paired with him till death.

And I’m going to have to learn to rely on myself for a lot of things I wish he would give to me, which maybe selfish because I want him to be more like me and he wants me to be more like him.

Friday with Emma was fine.

I wore a sleeveless shirt cause it felt like summer and she had a good time exploring my arms. It made me self conscious but she’s a child so I just gotta act like it’s ok.

My mom and sister did not fight as far as I know, which is always a blessing. I’m always noting now when they get along. I really like when the weekend goes well.

Will got sent to VT so he won’t be home Saturday.

Since I did no work yesterday I did some work today because I felt guilty LOL and then went back to my mom’s to hang out with my sis and em.

It was waaaaay too hot to keep up with her. We all were sweaty cranky bitches, including Emma.

Plus she cheats at EVERYTHING and I get she’s thet only kid in a sea of adults. She’s the youngest in the entire family but we’re playing fair and you don’t always have to be the winner. I feel so petty not wanting to play a board game with her.

But she loves me so. When I visit she’s practically singing my name the entire day. I hope that never changes. We’ll both get older. In 10 years time she’ll be 15 and I’ll be near 50. I don’t know that she’ll be singing my praises then..

I liked my aunt’s at that age but I didn’t see them every week. They were fun cause it was a special visit when I saw them. Although maybe when she’s a teen we won’t be carting her to my mom’s every weekend. She’ll have her own life and want to be with friends.

I should see Will Sunday. He’ll be home early but probably sleep all day.

Did I tell you guys I found a new food tracking app. It’s called Bariastic. It’s as good as the all others but since it is used by those getting the bariatric surgeries, I like it so much. I feel included.

I even bought wet wipes, gas drops, and chloroseptic throat spray. All things someone fresh out of surgery would need.

It’s like when I packed up my desk at my old job before I got my new one. Im preparing for my new life because I’m not staying in this old one.

Last updated December 21, 2020