One step closer in Bittersweet

  • May 26, 2020, 1:17 a.m.
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  • Public

You know that person you want to be. Every step you take, make sure you are taking one step closer to her (him). Setbacks happen. But you have to look forward and make sure EVERY step is moving closer to that person.
When you think about those people that you envy, that you admire. Look at the things about that that you lvoe and figure out how to make yourself more like that. Build yourself up, one step at a time. Surrounding yourself with those people.

Today i took this amazing drive through the mountains and for the first time, i didnt think about my former friend. God she did a number on me because here I am MONTHS later and miss her still. Ive in the last week, started kindleing a new friendship with a girl who has a lot about her that i enjoy. Shes new to fiber arts which suits me, Love teaching people lol. Shes native ( adopted) and learning more about her native tribe. Im native born but raised in a different native culture and know nothing about my own. So maybe through learning more about her adopted tribe i can find the way to my own. I know nothing other then their name. No its not Cherokee lol. Shes bubbly and happy. Everything im not lol. Shes a hugger. Im so not. But i like her. :) Ive tried to pick back up more on some previous friendships and chats. Im a talker so i love having people to talk to all day long. I get lonely without. And finally, im forcing myself to learn its ok to be alone! Its OK to be lonely too. Sometimes it is what it is. Some things that im searching for have to come from inside. And some of that is getting used to being alone.

There are some things i want to do that i CAN do here. Ive finished my black bean dye works. Ill try to link the you tube videos in an entry. I didnt take photos, i just did videos. I want to do some basket weaving like i did before. But i want to use the yucca that grows here. Its sharp but i want to try it anyway. I have ideas i want to work through lol. Ive got my faith to dig deeper into and my projects to keep me going. Despite my home not being ideal. Im refusing to be overpowered right now.... Ill just keep on keeping on, one step closer to right.

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