i told them about olivia. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

well fuk. i can’t sleep. [well have you made an effort to? yes. not much but yes.]. although. it’s not that unusual for me to be up for 10, 12+ hrs. so. and it’s now been. 11 hrs. i woke up at um 3:20 p.m. yesterday. and it’s now like. 4 a.m. i’d venture. or so.
ug. so. yeah 8 yrs. ago or so. when it all happened. when my sister came and got me. or my dad..........or someone did that day. may 13, 2013. well. it was either that day or some day after. [not like it would’ve been before. cause there’s not a third option here.]. and we my sister, leo i were all. walking to.........no i think it was after we came back. er sorry i mean after we came back from the courthouse. i told them about olivia.
so. fuk i have almost. no right to act like i’ve done nothing wrong. no see olivia. was/is evan’s ex. i don’t know the details of their relationship. other then when they met she was 15 although she was dishonest about that and told him she was older. and he was like. 18 or something. so................yeah. and see. at the time. i didn’t even tell evan i was. going to tell them about her. but it seemed like everything happened so fast that. how could i have?
and this is what i mean by caving. i hate when. i’m going through something and i’ll talk to the first person available even. if it’s not the person i actually want. to talk to. godamnit. i hate that. i owe evan an apology for that. wow. guess i should talk about confidentiality. but other then that. there’s only been one other time that i’ve broken his.
so. in the movie center stage there is a love triangle among the girl and 2 guys. and she asks the one ‘do you think i’m an idiot for dating him?’ or w/e it was. and he replies ‘no. i think he’s an idiot for not treating you right’. yeah. exactly. my sister was.............well she should’ve done better. or. not gotten involved at all. the only thing i did was tell her my ex i’d broken up and this other guy was staying w/ me. but wow.
ya know. if it were just one incident then it probably wouldn’t be such a big thing. but. also.
-when my sister. a few yrs. ago found the slip of paper i’d accidentally dropped. w/ his phone number on it. she didn’t come to me first. no she came to our mom. i don’t care why. not interested.
-and on sat. like i mentioned. she brought up the fact that my ex had threatened me. something i a. don’t think i’d ever told her and um 2. it wasn’t ever. her thing to bring up.
so that’s 3 times now something like that has happened. so. yeah wow.