Prosebox Has Updates? OPEN DIARY Can Top THAT! in Upcoming OD Improvements (Service Outages)

In response to Prosebox's recent usability updates, we are announcing the ability to infrequently log into your accounts, beginning sometime within the first quarter of 2014 or later. Other features in the works are:

• A "screeching tire meets brick wall" sound effect with every server crash.
• 24-hour access to the message that tells you the Help Desk is down.
• An option to mute the sound of EWS weeping in a dark corner of his bedroom.
• A photo of me laughing beneath every "Lifetime Member" tag under each Lifetime Member's profile picture.
• More banner ads, including the reintroduction of the "Shoot The Monkey" ones you may remember fondly from your pre-OD Plus days.
• Weekly mud wrestling matches between ShadowKat and Decayed Elvis.
• A periodic loss of data resulting in the destruction of your entries and your personal information winding up in the hands of Russian and/or Chinese hackers.
• The resumption of MY diary.
• A video of me twerking.
• Higher subscription rates.
• Six more years of disappearance as soon as I see my shadow.

Rest assured that you'll be getting the same level of service you've come to expect from Open Diary in the coming months, weeks, or for however long EWS can keep his hamster alive and running the wheel that powers our server's dynamo. Thank you for your support.

The DiaryMaster has spoken.