A Crappy Day in Just in Case
- May 3, 2020, 9:55 p.m.
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- Public
Nothing major has gone wrong, but it’s just one of those days. My emotions have been all over the place, just like everyone else’s. And sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of everyone with a microphone, yelling, and not one is paying any attention, unless it’s to tell me something I’m doing wrong, or not doing enough of. (No one has told me that, it just feels like they’re all thinking that.) I know some of it is just that I’m tired. Sleep has become such a joke. I will finally fall asleep around 1 or 2, sleep for 45 minutes or so, then wake up, and be up for hours. I’m waking up before 8 every day. I know I need several nights of good rest. I need a routine, regular sleeping pattern, but knowing that doesn’t make it happen.
I feel like I’m being pulled in a lot of different directions or that I’m being overlooked. No in-between.
I hate days like today. It feels like I’m asking for pity, and I’m not. I have it so much better than so many others. I’m still being paid. I have food, a house, I’m healthy, and safe. I’m grateful for all of that. I’m even more grateful that my family is healthy.
Some of it is emotion about school. I have been slowly working on packing up my room, and today I finished. Three weeks before the year is supposed to end, a month and half after my kids stepped foot in my classroom for the last time.
I’m just ready for normal feelings again.
Ignore this, I just wanted to get it out.
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