Thoughts in Journal

Attention. Holding a background & foreground of ideas, opinions, feelings, etc, of opposing views is a mark of maturing attention. “On the other hand,”, “In contrast..”, “I’m angry with you but I still love you.” Uncertainty is a mark of maturity. Assuredness (singlemindedness) is a mark of immaturity. One mind; easily distracted, inability to focus, the attention is singular and untuned. Attention is not the tuning-in on a single thing; it is the tuning-out of everything else.

Denial, Awareness, Acceptance, True Love. Children bring out (expose) the biggest, darkest, most triggering aspects of our psyche. Anyone who says different is in Denial. One can be Aware of this and be repulsed by children. Acceptance might look like a recognition that children are never at fault; it’s only our own psyche that causes our discomfort. What is True Love? Is it the desire to have children despite these challenges or because of it? does out attitude toward children or wanting them matter?

Despite or Because. Despite all the challenges of having children, one can love a child for who and what they are. This might be a form of self-denial; despising the character of oneself enough to value their innocence and purity. Because is a more consistent framework. We love the child for who and what they are intrinsically for how they affect us and the world. Self-love and growth is fed in a natural feedback loop, which continually assures the love for the child, and his affects on the world, including you.