TMI in Current Events

Anyone else getting tired of not waking up on a tropical beach? I feel more alive today after my mini-breakdown yesterday though. Bev ended things with her fuckboy to start a relationship with a coworker. She sent me an ominous link to a video from Dr. Ramani about love bombing. Dr. Ramani is an expert on narcissism and Bev and I have an unhealthy relationship with her Youtube content. It makes us convinced that everybody, including ourselves, are narcissistic assholes lol. She felt panicked that her new boyfriend is love bombing her and that he is a narcissist. That she may have made a wrong choice. She didn’t have feelings for her fuckboy, he knew the score but told her that he had feelings for her and she seemed to feel bad like she owed him a chance for that. She doesn’t owe anybody anything if her feelings weren’t there. Love bombing is just when the other person is grandiose and is over the top with all the grand and small gestures. It later turns into control if they are a narcissist. Blah blah boring shit.

I’m about to get into TMI territory here. In
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I finally got around to Googling everything I can about hemorrhoids. I’ve never had this problem before and it’s not like I can go see my doctor right now. Apparently everybody has them, they reside inside to prevent leakage. For various reasons they can “slip out”. I’m just confused about how this could happen to me. I’m not overweight, nobody eats as much fibre as I do, nobody drinks as much water as I do and I exercise and I’m not pregnant and I don’t get constipated and I don’t have to put up a fight when I have a BM. The only thing I can think of is that when I was working at the craft store we had a problem with the plumbing and our washrooms were not available and I didn’t want to use the public washroom next door for BMs so I held it in all day. I usually BM multiple times a day, yes that’s TMI and I warned y’all. Anyways it can possibly go away on its own but that should have happened by now. There are various treatments I can get from a pharmacist and there is one option of… omg, trying to push it back in. I feel relieved now that I understand the symptoms. I’m not experiencing any pain. I am experiencing the joy of never feeling like I’ve finished a BM. There is a mucus situation that had me convinced that I was… incontinent? Leaking? but no. There is a blood situation and I don’t want to sound like Soju from the last season drag race but I’m currently oozing. God this is all so gross. I just want to get it gone already. Anyways, that’s my Tedtalk for the day.
ta!