Wish I Didn't Miss in Brief Thoughts

One of my favorite film lines of all time comes from the first Men In Black. It’s when J finds K watching the girl from afar, the one he was meant to go on a date the fateful night he came upon the first alien contact. And J says, “Well you know what they say: it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” K responds tersely, “Try it.”

I feel like that alot these days. I miss things now I only had a vague longing for as a teenager before I ever had them. Feeling love, intimacy, physical affection, connection with one person on a level I did not experience before and haven’t since. And sometimes I wish I could go back to my teenage self and convince him that he is better off. At the same time, I wouldn’t be at all the person I am and, despite the pain, I love this version of myself. Unfortunately, that craving to have those things again are the downside and I don’t think that will change any time soon.