Going Crazy Literally in Current Events

I think I experienced some psychosis this morning. I woke up to hearing somebody shout my name. It was loud enough for me to almost respond. I went upstairs only to find that everybody was sleeping. I felt disturbed and I decided to leave the lights on in my room and curl up on my couch with my cat. I saw my reflection on the TV and my mind was not registering that the reflection was me and I felt like I was in the room with somebody. I don’t know how to explain that experience. I must be going crazy being trapped in this tiny house with four other people. Tom you big bloated bitch in the basement be grateful!

On Friday I spent the whole day listening to unpopular opinions about feminism and body positivity and racism and all that fun social justice stuff. I don’t know why I did that. Apparently I’m not as woke as I thought. I do have a habit of making opinions based on social media posts. Would this be any different? I’m pretty gullible. These conversations are pretty closed off and I never actually hear the other side of things. They did have some valid points. I won’t say them because I don’t want to trigger anybody. It doesn’t add value talking about these things on here anyway.

Speaking of psychosis, my brain feels the way it did when I was trying to quit my meds cold turkey only I’m not withdrawing right now because I’m taking them. I want to see my doctor about a few other things and a conversation over the phone won’t be enough. I’ll be a good girl and wait patiently. My skin is acting weird on my foot, that cist I had removed from my back is back, I also have my first hemorrhoid (TMI), I’ve been experiencing some other embarrassing things as well and my scalp situation is still just… ugh. I switched to a more aggressive shampoo and I put coconut oil on my scalp and I take my B complex vitamins and if I skip one of those steps my scalp will throb and ache. Ageing is fun. Nobody warned me that I would be getting a second-round of puberty in my thirties. Every week I’m like… oh that’s new. I’m trying to embrace every sag and wrinkle because my father never got to be 34. Ryan and Mae never got to be 34 either. This is a privilege. If I could afford botox and fillers though… lol

Anyways, Monday is when I’m allowed to apply for CERB (Canada Emergency Response Benefit). I feel dirty even trying because I have that underlying belief that I need to be “a good native” and stay off assistance. Anyways, it’s another fine day in quarantine. I’ll hit legs and cardio and then clean my room. Dear Liam Hemsworth: Will you be my quarantine?
ok, ta!