Day Today in meh...

Shortly after the last entry, I get a call from my brother. My mom is in a hospital. I’m believing it’s the usual suspect (UTI) but they think she may have pneumonia again and because she’s coughing, they’ve tested her for COVID-19. I’ve not heard anything since then.

This is hard because I can’t go to her. I can’t go to her and sit with her. I’ve not been able to go to the facility because they are locked down. This situation is not right. It’s just not right.

I allowed myself to feel it. I wasn’t sobbing, but I’ve eye leaked and all that accompanies that. I sent Him a text and asked if he would send up a prayer. Everyone else are such alarmist, I can’t bother to tell anyone else. I prayed then distracted myself. My cousin knew, but didn’t tell her mother. Her mother called me and she is a HUGE alarmist. She called and asked if I’ve talked to my mom today. She is one of those people who talks and talks and you can’t get a word in edgewise. So I had to interrupt her when she said she wouldn’t be able to reach her. Had that conversation and that was that.

Talked to my daughter a little bit. She said her dad caught her crying from our earlier conversation. She said to avoid conversation, she went to sleep.

I’ve been kind of catching up on shows as a distraction. But my mother is my major concern.

So it’s 9:07p.

I’m emotionally not here. I’m thinking about all the meat I’m planning to eat for Easter. I need to buy some potato salad (not good at making it), a leg of lamb that I saw at the one store, and liquor. I need some wine, some gin and tonic and some bourbon.

So, with that, I’m going to finish watching this show and I’m going to bed.

Let’s hope day 16 is better.

Good night.