Long time no type in Musings

SCHOOL
So we made the decision to send the girls to in person school. It was a hard choice, but Covid cases were pretty low at the time we made the choice. Leah NEEDS interaction. She was getting really depressed and it was so hard to see. We waffled on sending Alex to PreK but decided to go for it knowing we could always pull her out if needed. They are both thriving. Cases have gone up since then and I’m nervous as hell about flu season but I’m trying to take things one day at a time.

FAMILY
Things have been up and down with my parents since I told them I was no longer Christian. My mom and I finally had a sit down talk a month or so ago and it was really good. We will never see eye to eye again and that’s hard but we are learning to move forward and respect each other’s differences.

My brother and his wife left the church my parents go to to go to an even more conservative, fundamentalist church. It’s depressing, and frankly scary for me sometimes to think about what my niece and any future kids they have are going to go through. When we get together we talk about kids and surface level stuff but under that surface there is some bubbling tension.

I want them to respect me and so I respect them but fuck Fox News and other conservative media for radicalizing them into this alt right space. I mourn for the close relationship we once had because it’ll never be the same unless they change their minds about a lot of stuff. Namely the racism.

ELECTION YEAR WOES
I live in OK which is an extremely red state. Especially in smaller towns like we live in. Trumps signs are literally everywhere. And let’s be honest, I’m not overly enthusiastic about voting for Biden but I just do not get how anyone could support Trump at this point. The slogan “Keep America Great” just makes me lol because look around, y’all. America is literally and figuratively on fire.

I watched the debate with the help of a glass of whiskey and coke and a group text with friends. Such a shit show. I can’t decide which was the worst part. The attack on Biden’s son, the fear mongering about ballot fraud, or the refusal to denounce white supremacy. Okay it was definitely the last one because Damn. Even Republicans I follow were pretty shocked and disappointed about that.

SHOP
Not too much to report here. Some weeks I’m super busy and other times things trickle in. I’m thankful for any order I get right now as I know people can’t afford much these days.

PODCAST IDEA
So I have what I think is a great idea for a podcast. Each week I would talk about a true crime case that in some way involves religion and then discuss what that case can teach us about religion. It combines my love for true crime with my interest in religious issues. And as far as I know there isn’t a podcast out there that does this specifically. The ones I know about are usually cults which is great but I think more every day cases need to be talked about so we can discuss systemic changes that need to be made. It won’t happen any time super soon. Maybe 2021.

MOVING?
We currently live in a house owned by Nathan’s parents. We have been paying them rent while they rented a different home. Well they just bought a new house last week and refinanced the one we are living in. So that means we are going to have to move out within a year for sure.

It’s just complicated because of Nathan’s job. There’s a possibility he could get moved to a job in a different town. We are waiting to find out and should within the month. I’m really hoping we get to move because it would be closer to Oklahoma City. More opportunity to meet new friends and we will be close to Nathan’s brother and his wife Nathan’s cousins, his best friend, and one of my cousins.

But even if he doesn’t get that job we will be moving towns. He currently works 45 minutes away so we would move closer to his work. Either way I’m both stressed about it and looking forward to it. I’m so ready to get out of my hometown, y’all.

WHAT DO I WANT?
Now that the girls are both in school and I have more time I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life going forward? I haven’t worked in almost 8 years. I’m obviously not using my degree, my experiences are all with kids and I’m not sure I ever want to do that again.

So what DO I want? I just don’t know. It’d be nice if I made more money. It’d be ideal if it could be from home and something creative. I know podcasts can make money but it’s not a guarantee and it could be months or even years before it gained traction. I love my shop but having something else in addition to it would be great.

Any ideas/ advice would be great. I’m honestly still reeling from the fact that I spent the majority of my life wanting to do ministry and missions and now that is gone. I know there are charitable jobs I could work that don’t have anything to do with religion but those seem slim pickings around here especially.