Shut Down in Current Events

Come evening yesterday my mother was suddenly relieved that all of her kids were laid off and not exposed to COVID-19. Either she was neurotic yesterday or started drinking early. I was kept up from a lower abdominal pain as I’ve never experienced before. It was a good time! My mind is not experiencing stress today but my body is. I feel flustered and it’s completely understandable but I’ll be okay. I think I am experiencing my sister’s anxiety. She’s pretty dramatic during these end times but she has children to worry about so I can’t blame her. My niece is coming down with a fever it looks like so naturally we just assume the worst. I honestly just want to lay down and be depressed but I refuse to commit to that. I’ll go for a run today and take care of my shit instead. I am so confused about the abdominal pain though. I’ll just assume that it is stress-related. My body is probably just shutting down my digestion and flooding my body with adrenaline and cortisol and doing all of those other things that it does to prepare for an animal attack. Of course, my body doesn’t know that I’m not actually under attack. Blah

Oh right, I choked while eating an apple yesterday. It was super scary and I felt some PTSD trying to eat my breakfast things morning. lol what a mess

Last updated March 26, 2020