Out on a walk, feeling pretty good in Glowing world

Today Kenny and I went for a nice hour long walk, and I got to have a video chat with Tom for a while this morning. This means I showered, got dressed, and put on makeup. It’s amazing what little rituals make us feel like ourselves. Kenny wore pants, as opposed to just a robe.

I set a four hour timer, and I’m not going to check Facebook or do anything online until it’s up. That is, other than post this, which feels like a different thing than just scrolling Facebook, watching random Youtube videos, scrolling Instagram, and looking at scary news articles on reddit or newspapers. I want to be informed, but not obsessed. Other than knowing what I need to make wise decisions, I don’t need to dwell on everything that’s terrible. I’ve noticed that all steeping my brain in fear does is make me want to drink, numb, hide, eat junk food, and generally just be unhealthy.

I know that precisely one week after everyone is back to work, people will be longing for when they got to sit around and watch Netflix. People will ache for not having any responsibilities dictated by a boss. Everyone in healthcare, grocery stores, delivery services, and other “essential” occupations will be relieved. That is, until people go back to being disrespectful of grocery clerks.

In general, I’m in good spirits. I’m eating healthy. We are stocked with food for at least the next two weeks. I have meds for the next five weeks. I ordered a chin up bar. Kenny was doing lunges earlier, so I joined him.

It’s a strange thing to have my only job be to stay at home and not go insane. I got word that I get money coming in from my new job starting on the 30th, so that’s cool. I got out of the dance and entertainment industry just in time. I knew the studio wouldn’t survive the next recession, but damn, I didn’t know it would pan out quite like this.

I feel physically good. I actually feel better than I did a few days ago. When I read the news, my throat tightens up to the point where it feels like a sore throat. But, when I’m calm, it goes away.

We lysol the bottoms of our shoes when we come back to the house now. Turns out we had three cans of it already. Crazy how something so simple makes me feel like we are rich. We are lucky. We have everything we need.

I miss social dancing. I miss the hugs. I miss people. I miss the name-recognition and the exclaiming. The little chit chat. The physical contact. I’m a touchy, touchy girl. I like long hugs on the beach, lol.