I Own It in Him

I don’t know how we would have ended up. You said you never wanted to walk away. What if you never did? What would we be right now? Still what we were? You living away from me, me watching you date this one and that one and get the bits of you I get? Me being content with you just being good to me, staving off jealous feelings because we are not really together? Was I supposed to be content with never really having you like others have?

Is that life?

In the end, I knew she was something to you. I didn’t want to get in the middle of what you were doing and get pushed out anyway. So, preemptively, I told you to make it work. I didn’t want you to go. I loved you. I love you. But am I toxic? I pushed you away, pulled you back, and now I’m heartbroken and I did it to myself. I did this. I did this. I did this.

I can’t expect you to own any part of this because this was my hand.