The Three Things in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

There are three things I want right now more than anything....

(1) I want my physical pain to stop. What with the being sick… whether it is body pain, illness ache, or the ever present stabbing pain in my throat… I have been in distractingly constant physical pain (way more than usual) for the last 10 days. And I’m sick of it. I just want to feel well enough to go for a walk or eat/drink without wincing.

(2) I want to see an end to the stupidest crimes. Namely… adults act like adults. If someone is upsetting you and you don’t have to deal with that person… just ignore them. It benefits nobody to go out of your way to be a dick to that person. Namely… everyone… keep your damned hands to yourself! I don’t care if you’re “sexually curious”… if you don’t have express consent, don’t shove your hand down someone’s pants. HOW IS THIS NEWS?! These are the kinds of things where I sit in stunned silence thinking, “What the ever loving hell is wrong with these people?!” Even in a small town… why is the ability to act like an adult completely absent? If someone is telling his friends that I stole from him.... honestly? As long as the cops aren’t involved, who fucking cares?! You’ve got 1 Dude gossiping and making speculations. Who cares? If you go over to his place and try to “start something”… that’s.... shit, guys, that is High School shit. If you’re in your forties, you should be fucking over that nonsense. And teenagers… I can’t say this enough… but apparently I have to… whether it is your sister, your girlfriend, or your female lab partner… even if there is flirting… whipping your dick out, shoving your hand into someone’s pants without their permission, or ejaculating on someone without their permission… THESE ARE CRIMES! And the fact that we have adults in this community (including DHS and Police) trying to downplay those actions as “male curiosity” proves to me just how far we need to come to drag this community into the 21st century!

So… as far as wishes to STOP… I’d like an end to my physical pain and an end to the stupidest crimes.

(3) I want to see something beautiful. I want to see something beautiful or experience something beautiful. I mean… it feels like my life, especially of late, has been… decay. The ending of my marriage. The continued march of the criminal and the destructive. The continued burning of the world and destruction of life. It really honestly feels like… wherever I look… there is decay. Sure I mentioned my friends with kids. And yay kids. But that is… that is someone else’s world being reinvigorated. That is someone else’s existence clawing back against the entropy of the system. I want to see… feel… experience… something beautiful for myself. And I feel sad that I can’t imagine, other than a magical wish, how I could go about doing that.