Return To Sender in Current Events

Tomorrow I start a new job for the first time in fourteen years. I’m trying not to overthink it or try and predict how it is going to go. I just want to get the first day over with. Somebody ordered five inches of snow and I want to return it to sender. I don’t want to drive in that tomorrow! I’m feeling a little flustered about this new adventure and I’m trying to spin that into excitement. New places, new faces just like I always wanted. I’m tempted to live that fantasy of having everybody call me by my middle name, Langford. Langford sounds like a preppy little white guy and I used to hate it. If I can get the world to support my identity dissociation and psychosis that would be great. Anyways, I decided to blast music and dance my little ass off instead of committing to feeling crushed by the weight of my anxiety & depression. Oh! Speaking of being body conscious, apparently, squats and lunges are an instant butt lift for me. I’m going to have to do this twice weeks for the rest of my life if I don’t want my booty to hit the floor. I went over a week doing glutes and legs because of those dizzy spells and I assumed that my booty was just melting like the snow. Gravity and I are not friends.

Anyways, I’m just trying to air out some of my brains. I was almost crying yesterday. My mind decided to process the 18 years I wasted hating my mother. I’m glad that I came around. Our relationship now is my favourite thing in the world. I had to accept that she was a whole person. Somebody who makes mistakes. We really did grow up together. She was sixteen and pregnant before it was cool. She had options and I want to be worth it one day. Anyways! That’s my random randomness of randomer randoms for the day. Ta!