let's do this right in poetry

my nightmares are
my true constant companions
they follow me
wherever I try to
rest my weary head

sometimes shot down in the streets
sometimes drowned inside
a capped-off waterslide
at the Enchanted Forest theme park

or worse
falling sideways through time
through reincarnations
through mistakes made and
remade, learning from them
but repeating them all anyway
unable to break any of my cycles
or even force myself to just
wake up

there are many nights
where I am kept awake
bleary and exhausted
simply out of the fear
of having to dream
and yet

I long for the nightmares too
I long to stay inside them once
long enough to finally resolve one
to get through to some resolution
when I finally don’t die
when I figure out the problem
I wish that I could stay until
finally woken up inside
for real