god it's been a long month. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

and by ‘month’ i mean from jan. 19th - feb. 19th. not like the traditional month. [and i’m now realising. i haven’t at all detailed how. in what way/s it’s been a long month. sorry.]. yeah i was thinking about that yesterday when i was in my park. god i needed to go there. apparently. a lot like a lot a lot. yeah um things are starting to calm down. except for like my ankle. which i might get gauze on wed. [and no i’m not bleeding] no but bc apparently. medical tape cuts and i wasn’t paying enough attention to. the instructions regarding wrapping. so i’m thinking.........if i wrap it in gauze..........then i won’t have the problem of the cutting. the tape. cutting. rather the bruises actually don’t look as bad. yeah recovery is slow going. as usual.
so a couple wks. ago. i have a guess. as to why i felt so rundown and just generally unwell but i’m embarassed about it. the trash. as i hadn’t gone to my mom’s the. my trash. hadn’t been taken out so after a few days i was like ok that’s it. so i took it out. er well. rather i put it in the kitchen trash cause it had to go. like ok. and idinno that helped a little. and part of the reason i’ve been buying vitaminwater is oh maybe i was dehydrated. no that wasn’t it. it was just. odd and random that general feeling of being unwell. and i was eating. the usual stuff. so. yeah just weird.
i know this might sound like i’m bitching. and yeah maybe i am. but i have occipital nerve pain again. it happens every so often. yay i love that. i. haven’t been keeping up w/ updating. my tbi setbacks. and it’s hard to like. wash my hair [well my version of it] when. my god the nerves in my head hurt. and other then taking pills which i don’t do cause well. i have depression there’s not much else to do. about it. i mean i’m feeling better right now. i think i’m coming down w/ something. or idinno maybe i’m not maybe it just feels that way............ um.
oh right so i’ve had a pretty easy wk. other then last night. see ok a few months back i. got a cold back in oct. and i’m the kindof person who overdoes. stuff. so i got cough medicine [in liquid form.]. but.........i also. keep stuff. well so i kept the empty bottles in a box under my bed. well............when i looked last night the box. was on its side under my bed............i don’t know. if the lady actually saw them or not...........but. i don’t think the box was that way before i left so. i’m lucky that’s all she saw. if she did in fact see it. ya know.........i think that’s a reason i don’t like coming back from my mom’s. is bc i get back to my rm. and things aren’t exactly where they were. i mean it’s not like. a real problem or anything but it bothers the fuk out of me. no every. damn. time my things have to be put back exactly as they were. and yes i do mean ‘have to be’. cause i’m rigid and that’s not my fault. nothing more. nothing less. no exceptions. i don’t care. [yeah i know i’d be so easy to live w/. i mean i’m not i’m a difficult person. hey living w/ people is hard regardless.]. i’m a really sweet quiet lady but i am difficult as hell. at times. it’s not even a surprise anymore. and when she does stuff like that. i feel like i’m being in some way rushed. to do something about my stuff and that’s not my way. like sorry i don’t perform well under pressure. in general.
and this is why. i want the um. key to the red toolbox i have at my mom’s. so that i can fix the broken suitcase i have in my closet. sorry the zipper of it. rather. and then once that’s done.............put stuff in there. but. fuk. as for why. i keep stuff that’s actually part of a mental condition i have.
but uh yeah like i said. pretty easy wk. for the most part. on thurs. on the bus my hyper........acusis yeah hyperacusis. i always forget. got to me. it’s. sens. to sound. sens. hearing not good hearing. and usually sounds don’t bother me more then they do most people. but omygod it was like my ears were having a panic attack. i know that’s a weird way to put it but it’s actually really fitting. the bus driver and the other lady were having a conversation. and in my like. er brain it just kept building even though. it didn’t actually keep building. i don’t know how else to describe it. and i don’t like. saying i’m sens. like in terms of my sens. issues. cause i come off as fragile like i need to be kept inside. or looked after or something. and i’m not. i just have more trouble w/ certain sens. things then a lot of people. and like it’s not even my fault. it’s just really hard being me sometimes. cause of well for one my problem w/ movement is probably the biggest one. i get distracted by other people walking past. i was so glad to get off that bus. on thurs. my god. so it wasn’t just the standard i don’t like when people talk. like it’s ok we don’t need to talk. we can sit here in silence and enjoy the bus ride and not talk. it was more then that my hyper. acusis hyperacusis. my mom i think has it too. so it makes sense she’d need quiet. her mom didn’t have it far as she’s aware. i know cause i asked last night. if she did.
but ya know. ya win some ya lose some. meaning. it’s been a pretty easy wk. and i went to my park which i love. but then physically the past. like 2 wks. or so i haven’t been all that great. but things are starting to calm down. feel free to quote me on that btw ‘ya win some ya lose some’. no really it’s ok i don’t mind.
well thanks everyone.
the bird flies but it will always return to the earth.