I am now officially pissed off in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

So… Dungeons and Dragons has been on my calendar (and thus the House calendar) for over a week.
So… Martha didn’t have class today and WHEN THE SUN WAS OUT the weather was actually supposed to be really good.
SO… I asked one thing… ONE THING… of Martha. You have time, opportunity and decent weather. PLEASE take Nala for a walk.

So when I come home from work?

Not only does Martha tell me, “Oh yeah, I’m going on a date so I won’t be here tonight.” I ask, “Did you at least take Nala for a walk?” To which she says, “No. I was too busy.” Yeah. Too busy preparing for your date. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

So… I leave for DnD. Worried to shit. Because I’m not cancelling my “weeks long planned” DnD session just because Martha got a sudden date request that she said yes to. But I’m worried about the damned dog who hasn’t had a walk all day and is now going to be spending 5 to 6 hours home alone!

I enjoy DnD well enough and start driving home a little after 10:00. I’m hoping without any real honest hope that Martha got back before me. But as I’m driving home, I get a text from Martha that she drank too much and is spending the night.

INSERT RAGE FACE HERE

Are you fucking kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Consider it. FUCKING CONSIDER IT

8 years of marriage and celibacy and ice-coldness were the norm. We have a year of her with no job and no classes, and she can’t find the time for me. She can’t find the time for Nala. She begins taking LESS THAN A FULL TIME CREDIT LOAD AT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE… and she has zero time for me and zero time for Nala. It all gets too much for me. The rejection, the neglect, the not being of any concern gets to be too much for me. So I call it quits. AND NOW… she doesn’t have time to look for an apartment. She doesn’t have time to pack her shit. She doesn’t have time to do anything at all that would further her own survival when she leaves my fucking house. BUT SHE’S GOT TIME TO FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND, GO ON DATES AND SPEND THE NIGHT AT HIS PLACE TWICE?

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

And here’s the thing. I’m going to Ames tomorrow. I will likely leave before she gets “home.” But these words will be waiting for her. No more with the “I’m sorry things didn’t work out but please consider that I’m a person in your life” type of language. NOPE. Now the type of language of “Do you want to immediately turn this separation into a divorce? Cuz this behavior is how that fucking happens!”