Heartache in The day to day

Can anyone tell me when the nausea and heartache subside?

I was fine all day today until I got a notification from Facebook. He re-friended me on FB. I never got notifications from posts before so this was new. I was trying to actively avoid going to his page to see updates. Then a post with her tagged in it along with their apartment location tagged. I just wanted to vomit. I have felt sick to my stomach ever since. I made it so I can’t get notifications when he posts now. I also unfollowed him.

I would unfriend him again myself, but he wanted to be able to see when I post about the boys. Which I understand. I just hope I have the willpower to not go to his page to see what he’s posting or what she tags him in.

I kept myself busy most of the day. Grocery shopped early, then cleaned the whole house. The boys and I attempted to go swimming at the Y. That was only about 20 minutes before they closed the pool due to a lifeguard not showing up for their shift. Then lunch and one stop at a store. Car wash that was extremely busy as it was 60° out. Then home for the rest of the night.

After that I have been continuing my Outlander marathon. I don’t know what I will do once that ends. I haven’t watched a single show that we watched together since he announced he wanted to separate. Seems silly I know. But it won’t be the same having that companion with me to watch and laugh and comment on the show.

This sucks. I really hate it. I am just ready to be okay again. Where is the magic formula for that? I need it to be over. I never thought I would feel so lonely.

Last updated February 02, 2020