Blow out in The day to day

We had a huge blow out last night. On Sunday I got him to agree to have the kids two weekends without his other woman there at their apartment. She would go stay with her dad while the kids are visiting. Just to get them acclimated to him being in a new environment without her there. Then we could move on to her being there. I know I can’t delay it forever so I was hoping this was a good compromise. Cut to last night, he comes home and tells me that she said no. That she was controlled by her husband for 8 years and wasn’t about to be controlled by his wife. That she shouldn’t have to leave her home in order for my kids to be there. They are both selfish assholes. This isn’t about me. It’s about the kids. It’s especially about our oldest B, who has anxiety and social communication disorder. Basically he’s on the tip of the spectrum.

I told him then maybe he doesn’t need visitation until we go to court. And I did throw in that B already said he didn’t want to spend the night over there. He took it as the kids never want to see him and hate him. He was about to leave forever. Not see them ever again. Still help with bills until the divorce stuff was settled. I went off on him. We were both screaming at each other. Unfortunately the kids were here and heard it all. Heard him say he doesn’t love them, etc. It was a big mess.

I finally got him to calm down and listen to me. Told him that I never said the kids didn’t want to be over there just that B didn’t want to spend the night. That I still needed his help taking B to school on the mornings I open at work like he has been doing. I told him he needed to apologize to the kids for saying he didn’t love them when he does. He talked to B and B explained he just doesn’t want to leave me alone, that’s why he doesn’t want to spend the night.

So for now I think we are just going to do a couple of day visits. Unfortunately with her there. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about that legally. It sucks. And I hope they don’t royally screw up my kids. I was so upset that I wrote my dad an email telling him what has been going on. I’ve been keeping them in the dark as much as possible because they have enough on their plates to be worrying about their grown daughter. He hasn’t responded yet. I am a little afraid of his wrath for my husband’s sake. I don’t know why I should be.

I did have an offer of some ninja type vandalism to her car from my coworkers. Said they could do some things while I’m at a public event so it couldn’t be traced back to me. I told them I appreciated them willing to do bad things for me.

Oh I almost forgot. After our fight last night (well still during it, but towards the end), My husband told me that 60% of him loves me and thinks he is making a mistake and wants to stay. The other 40% doesn’t. Wants to be able to do what he wants and have all the sex he wants with other people. Said that’s why he was leaving because he couldn’t be a good husband for me if he was cheating on me. That he hoped I found someone who loved me as much as he did but could treat me better. Finding someone else at this point is the furthest from my mind. As it should be for him too. But what can I do but sit back and watch them go down in flames.

This process is taking too long for me. I need everything squared away so I can move on with my life. I want us all safe and happy.

Last updated January 28, 2020