😕 in The day to day

I just want to crawl into a hole until this whole thing is over. I am super emotional today. Probably because I finished the Legal Aid paperwork last night and mailed it by my work today. I didn’t want to put it in the mailbox at home in case he tried to see what I was mailing. I don’t think he would have, but my paranoia got the better of me.

He didn’t come home until about 9:40 last night. Way after the kids were in bed. I was asleep on the chair in A’s room. After I heard him come home, I got up and went to bed. He apologized for being so late but said he was having an in depth conversation with her. I didn’t ask him to elaborate. He told me the apartment he will be moving too. And that he might be taking our chocolate lab. Which I am okay with because she doesn’t listen to me, only him. And I’d rather not have the added stress.

I do think it’s weird he said he was going to take her though. He was okay with me rehoming her when I mentioned it. I wonder if the girl had something to do with it. He told me he was really sorry after he got in bed and I was falling asleep. I said for what? He never answered me. I’m assuming just for everything. Guilt is probably eating him alive. The sooner Legal Aid gets my paperwork the better. I can get him to agree to most anything while he’s feeling guilty.

I wish there was a fast forward button for life. So I could go ahead and skip to the end of this whole process.