Sunday. in Your Face

I went to boot camp with my sister on Friday morning. I was so terrible at it, and was nauseous from the exertion. Still, I am glad I went, and I would like to go again. However, I am in AGONY now, with screaming muscles. Stairs are a nightmare, and even still very painful now, on Sunday morning. How embarrassing. It is a real wake up call to how lazy I have been for years.

I look forward to the weekends, because I am not enjoying my job any more, but I am so lonely. I have friends, I go and do things, but all I want is M. I don't want to come home and sit alone in my room. I don't want to say goodnight to M at 5pm, then sit there all night feeling shitty.

I realised this morning that I'm probably half way through this time apart. It has been 6 weeks, and we figured it would be 12 or so. Seeing as he has no job yet, and immigration requires a month's pay slips, we're looking at 6 weeks from now IF he gets work in the next week. Realistically, I think it will be 8 more weeks. It's not long, when you think about it, but shit. It feels like forever. But we'll get there.

He cut his hair off, at last. It was long, well past his shoulders, and I hated it. He sent me a picture of it cut short, and it looks like it did when I first got to the US. He looked thin and sad in the photo, although he assures me he's not that thin.

Finally used up the last of that gift card I got from my job for Christmas last year. My electric razor died, so I got a new one for $35, then spent the last $35 on some stuff from K-Mart: 3 pairs of undies, jeans, a cardigan, a t-shirt, 2 pairs of shoes, a box of candy and 6 rolls of packing tape. Bargains. I swear, I have never had a more difficult time spending $300. I looked at my history on the card, and it took me 7 attempts to spend it all.

So I am watching DVDs, as usual. It's all I do on the weekends. I need to get myself a bit organised in this cramped room, do laundry, polish my shoes. I have lost all desire to study, and can't even give a shit right now. I am going to play video games instead. Eff it.

My head is okay. I have had a few paranoid moments when I thought I lost sensation in my hands, and maybe I did, I am not sure. I am going to make an appointment with my GP and just tell her my concerns. She is very thorough and will be able to determine whether it requires further investigation or not.