why do I wait? in Second 1st

So, I think I’m caught up. I read a ton just now.... well all morning. It’s 1pm .... Rocky’s still not up. We have mild plans for today.... I wanted to go to Lowe’s and we have to take the van to the dump. On top of that I got a sale last night that because we will be right by the packaging place when we go to Lowe’s I’m putting off till then.... but I”m starting to get frustrated. The dump closes at 5.... and Rocky takes about an hour to be coherent enough to go anywhere.

I often wonder why I wait on him at all. I mean I could have been to Lowe’s and the shipping place without him. I could also take the stuff to the dump but with all the stuff I do for the pallet stuff.... well he can at least clean up the mess it creates.

I want to get into our little storage room and get the item to be shipped as well as take out a few items. I have a few that I have many of that I’d like to take to Mike (guy who runs the place we get pallets from) to put on auction. Everything aside from the most recent pallet in well in profit and that one only lacks $188 as of this moment with at least $600 in inventory for that pallet.... I’d really like the space for more stuff and to take out some of the older less likely to sell items I have many of...... like.... 20 or so sofa covers.... 12 wireless Qi chargers.... 8 Flippin’ Fantastics .... 17 or so 1.5oz bottles of Argan oil..... you get the picture.

I want to get another pallet of small stuff soon. Things I can easily ship.... I was doing so well on Mercari and suddenly everything is quiet. I need to log a few things to make old things relevant again..... or something like that. Obviously, step one would be to get the crap out of the van..... and we plan on doing that today..... but

because I get up so early (4:30 most days, earlier some days) my day feels almost over. It is so frustrating to have the list of things that need to be done not even be able to be done till x time because he will sleep until whenever.... and me.... I blame me.... for being so extra considerate .... like.... what if he’s hurting today? what time did he go to bed? it’s his day off he should be able to sleep? I don’t want to wake him up because I wouldn’t want someone to wake me. He knows what needs to get done today.... he will get up in plenty of time. Let him sleep, obviously he like sleep better than real life...... it just gets negative from there until angry starts. Then it goes from When did he go to bed to I know he had to have gone to bed by x because I got up to pee and he was there sleeping so he’s slept x-x and that’s more than enough..... why is he so lazy.... I need him for things.... I can’t do everything alone.... I can’t do most things alone… In that stage I listen to music a little louder and..... do the things I feel like doing … even leave the house sometimes.

Sometimes he wakes and I”m not here and he has to text or call to figure it out. I always say I got tired of waiting so I went wherever we said we were going to go ..... or to grab some item at the store..... or get a bite to eat somewhere.... and I never bring him back anything.... because he used to tell me he doesn’t eat right when he gets up.... which is bull.

I heard a noise just now. If I’m lucky it was his feet hitting the floor. I’ll be doing the 1pm Justin’s then working in the storage room .... and after I get that sorted with or without him I’ll go do things.