A completely different experience in Give me your soul

So the end of my freshman year comes around and I find myself in a completely different place in life. I had no end of things to do or people to hang out with and it was a very different situation for me. I had two guys friends I got in good with and we became this wacky trio of people who embarrassed the shit out of everyone else. Except Karen, she was a very different girl from ones I had known before. I had never really met a girl who wasn't "girly" before and I was instantly stricken with her, before I ever got to know her. It was the first time in my life I ever had a crush on anybody. She adopted me as her freshman (she was a year ahead of me) and took me under her wing and helped me fit in.

Things shook up a bit in my sophomore year as the long established drama teacher left and new one came in. The Juniors and Seniors were all in a tiff about losing her and were dedicated to not giving the new teacher a chance. The rest of us followed suit because we wanted to fit in. We still did the shows she put on, everyone was just mean to her. Her first show was The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). A hilarious show and a strong first choice. It normally has only 3 actors, giving it a more impressive and chaotic edge, but it was still funny with the 14 we used. I got lucky in my scene audition because I was paired up with the department's triple-threat, guaranteed lead man Brandon and I think that may have contributed to my being cast. When the list went up I started reading from the bottom this time which caused a terrible heart-sinking feeling as I read up and wasn't seeing my name...until I reached the top. Only my second show and I was going to get a lead character credit. It was an unusual situation because the normal three actors parts were being divided up among the cast but the top three had more lines. Until the cast revolted and Paschal (the new teacher) caved and distributed lines more evenly and gave everyone supporting credit.

But still, I had good presence, I played Romeo in the R+J segment and I opened both acts. Going from a chorus member to the very first person anybody in the audience sees/hears in the show was terrifying. I had to set the whole tone for the show. I don't remember much about it, though I still do occasionally have actor's nightmares about it. I remember having to go out and buy tights for the show...I remember how poorly my costume fit. My pants were big enough to hold another person in there with me and my shirt was too short so I showed midriff every time I raised my arms too high. I was pretty skinny in high school so I shouldn't have cared as much but I have never been comfortable with my body...maybe when I was a kid and the concept of being attractive wasn't a concern for me. It was a fun show, though. That year wasn't too memorable otherwise since I don't remember much from it. I didn't audition for the musical. It was The Boyfriend. I thought it was terrible so I did running crew for it. That basically means moving the set and whatnot. Oh, that was my first year experiencing the crew side of theater. I ran a spotlight (a huge, unwieldy spotlight) and soundboard for the Thespian show, a collection of student directed one acts.

The important part of that year was the new people who came in, the fact I weaseled my way in further into the life and I was having a blast. My closest friends in high school were either one grade above or below me. Sophomore year was the year of The Guys. Todd, Richard and Josh. I had my two other guys, Chris and Travis but those three would be the ones I hung out with the most especially once Chris and Travis graduated. Despite all the friends I had I was such a depressed person. What's that, you say? I just said I was having a blast and now I was depressed? Go look that shit up on the internet, you're ignorant. If I hadn't found my way into this group of people I don't know where I would have been in high school. This was the time the bad thoughts really kicked in and it seemed to everyone around that I was this whine-y, needy attention whore of a human being. They were there for me as best as they could manage but the more I tried to pull myself out of that frame of mind the harder it fought back. Without these people, I never would have survived those years but I would ultimately drive every last one away.