Dec. 13th, 2019 (Friday The 13th OoOoOo) in Hello

So my boy what’s driving the craving today?

Well I got to thinking about the drink last hour or so of work. The idea just lingered as I kept reminding myself the craving is only in your head. (I didn’t get a chance for another video or list because I was actually pretty busy tonight otherwise I’d have been on top of this sooner.) Made it home long enough to eat then off to the bankruptcy lawyer for signing. Passed by the damn liquor store on the way home but talked myself down.

Nothing bad happened.
I wasn’t feeling down.
Just that normalcy of not even trying to abstain got to me.

I’m back home now. Smoked a bowl which kills cravings. (Yeah yeah I’ve started up again.) Just lazing on the couch watching Mom on TV and debating how bad do I want to get up for a shower.

Only an addict can relate to what that overwhelming feeling of a craving is like.

For me (today anyways) it was just the thought.
Gee, you still gotta work tonight but you won’t be able to drink tomorrow because of errands.
C’mon c’mon c’mon you know you want to.

Shit like that. Even during my two years sober I had moments like that.

Yes, even with no alcohol in my system I still had moments where all I could think of was taking a drink.

It’s insane!