No Self Sabotage in Current Events

My mind keeps trying to tell me lies that Vita will not hire me because of this or that. I won’t let it. I’m going to call them today. The manager didn’t get in until noon yesterday so I will wait until noon today to give her a call. I get flustered because I have it in my mind that she will try and tell me that she wants to go in a different direction and then I’ll have to grow a spine and ask her about what experience or skills she is looking for that I do not have on my resume. In a desperate attempt to passive-aggressively trap her into scheduling an interview with me to discuss that. My area of town is known to be “racist” so that is my underlying fear. Also, I noticed that all of the employees were women and I’m worried that will affect my candidacy also. However, my feelings are not facts so I need to stop putting energy into that. I just need to get me an interview and I will win them over. I got to stop thinking too big and just focus on the next step. Calling her today will increase my odds of getting an interview so I am making sure that I don’t drop the ball on that.

I see myself working multiple jobs by the end of January, to save up. I kind of want a part-time gig at a book store. I wouldn’t need to save up if I had jumped into another job right after I got my severance seven months ago but I believe that things happen for a reason. Also, if that lawyer should randomly call me back I will be aiming to sue my previous employers, fuck them all over bone dry. I’m confident that I can at least get a settlement. Assuming there is no statute of limitations against this, it’s been seven months. I’ve managed to let it go so if he doesn’t call me back I will survive. Basically, all of my external problems have the same solution here and that is dependant on my phone call to Vita at noon so no pressure.

My mind loves to prepare me for the worse case scenarios and I’m out here trying to counter all of them. It’s exhausting me. This job is barely ten minutes away from my house. I can transfer to a different location when I move. I’ll finally get to move! I’ll get to meet new people. I’ll gain brand new experiences. These hours leave room for school. I’ll climb into management positions hella fast and get more coinses. Everybody will stop worrying about me. Calling my grandmother to tell her that I got a gig will make her so happy. I’ll have structure again.
Come on Tom, you can manifest this.