Same game, different day. in Since OD is shutting down....

I never write in here as much as I should. Working, keeping the house clean, and raising a child on my own keeps me from having much free time. Her Dad came around a couple of weeks ago for a couple of days again and then once he was asked to come with to get her immunizations, he never showed up. I asked him to watch her on a Saturday night and God forbid that he do that either.

I’ve decided this bullshit where he comes around for a couple of days every few months is no longer going to continue. He’s not a Dad and never will be. Until my daughter is older and decides she wants to try a relationship with him, I plan to just leave shit alone. It was just embarrassing that he called her daycare on Halloween asking them to ask me if he could see her. I said yes because I do want my child to know him but then the cycle started all over again. He hasn’t paid CS in about 6 months. I doubt he will ever pay it again. He lives from place to place, no car, nothing.

I’ve read a lot about parents being in and out and the negative affects it has on children and that’s why I’ve decided I can’t allow him to be a revolving door Daddy anymore. I’ve fucked up by setting this precident and I can longer go along with it. My daughter calls him Daddy and it breaks my heart because he’s never been there like a Dad should and never will be. I mentioned CS and he just sat there with that narcistic dead glare. He of course had nothing to say. They’ve now restricted his DL, added it to his credit report and intercept lottery and tax refunds but I know I’ll probably never see a dime ever again.

My daughter and I are doing just fine. I’m ordering her shit load of toys and goodies for Christmas and she will have a ton to open. We are doing fine, I’m still working a lot and bills are paid. It’s upsetting that her Dad doesn’t work and still won’t watch her so I have to pay daycare to but she gets a lot out of it. She knows everything a 2 year old should know and it’s so crazy how much she talks now! I’m so proud of my daughter and the great little girl she’s becoming.

I’ll have to work more this week because of Thanksgiving and I’m already tired just thinking about it. My boss is such a negative, nit picky guy and I’m seriously about to blow up on him. I am glad we are off for Thanksgiving but now have to work Sunday so I’ll only get Monday off but hopefully I’ll get plenty of rest. I wanted to nap today but my kid just isn’t going for that. It’s cold and snowed up until about an hour ago.

I’ve gotten a lot better about being more positive and taking things in stride and nothing ruins my day anymore unless I let it. I accept my life and all of its imperfections. I’m proud that I’m able to give my daughter better than my parents ever gave me and my daughter has only 1 parent!

Anyways, I wanna lay down for a little while before we gotta get ready and go.