Forward in Current Events

I’m doing another round on Indeed. This time I actually threw my resume around a bit. Originally I did not want a manager position of any kind but that’s all that I barely qualify for that pays above the minimum wage. I refuse to land a gig in the food industry again. I had a moral dilemma about serving dead animals parts, that have been dead for months, as food to people while being a vegan. Now I’ve applied for retail positions where I will sell dead animal parts as fabric. I can’t win. Ethical Vegans are going to hate me. All of the positions that I applied for are Assistant Manager positions and all of my skills are perfectly transferable. I suppose that I decided to start moving forward with my life. I don’t know if I want to bite off more than I can chew and start taking a couple of courses at an adult education centre in January. I will need better grades and various courses like chemistry under my belt if I want to get into a faculty for Human Nutrional Sciences at the University within a year or two. There are even resources for me to collect Employment Insurance should I want to go back to school full-time and not work. Come tax season though I would have to pay it all back which is why I never tried to collect EI when I was terminated. Also, the plan was always to use my severance to pay off my car. I was to get a gig right away but it was painful to watch myself slowly lose my job after I reported that predator.

I’m still confused and hurt about it all. Leanne is going to get that lawyer at her firm to call me tomorrow. I’m starting to have doubts about if I should sue or not. If the lawyer thinks that I have a case then I will sue. I will probably accept a settlement if it’s decent. Otherwise, I would rather have a trial. No arbitration for me though. No mam. Companies should not be allowed to silence their victims. When I read Gretchen Carlson’s Be Fierce book she did warn that the outcomes of these lawsuits are usually disappointing. Even if you settle or win so make sure that this is worth it. I don’t know how else to let go of what happened to me. The injustices and dignities that are still happening to the employees that I left behind. The predatory culture that they created and enabled. Somebody has to stand up and try to make that cultural shift right? I don’t know. I haven’t had any fight in me these last six months.

I am trying to visualize myself starting at a new job and falling in love with it. Enjoying the grind of going back to school. Using my degree in nutrition to help people heal and/or prevent diet-related diseases. Finding a creative way to use that degree to inspire people to care about their nutrition. The food industry does not care about your health and the health industry does not care about your food. I want consumers to empower themselves to bridge that gap and make educated choices. There is a lot of bad science and confusing information out there.

When I went and saw a career counsellor several years ago we determined what my job values are and what I need to get job satisfaction. She kept making me take some weird personality test and I kept oscillating between INFJ and INTJ. I can’t help someone who is going to be red one day and then blue the next. Well paint me white and call it cultural appropriation, I don’t know what she wanted from me with that test. I don’t need another label to add to my identity crisis thank you very much. However, I did learn a lot about what my job values were and I think helping individuals create a new diet and new lifestyle is exactly the kind of thing that will give me job satisfaction. There are plenty of creative things I could do with a degree in nutrition. It could be a lot of fun so long as I don’t get stuck working in a tiny office in a clinic. I would love to create a community of like-minded people with common goals, to do workshops on how to make lifestyle changes and meal prep workshops and have guest speakers and stuff like that. I don’t want to actually do any of that on my own, or at all tbh lol. I want to build a team and make something new. A team of life coaches, counsellors, nutritionists, dieticians, fitness trainers and create a body-positive environment for our clients and/or patients. I want to make that journey fun.

Blah, I have my meet & greet with my new doctor tomorrow. I should have the results for my thyroid then too. Anyways, Looking around on Indeed it is clear that I will need a post-secondary education of some sort to get a good-paying job. It blew my mind when Hetal told me that she turned down a pharmacy position that paid $42 an hour. Leanne is a legal aid at a law firm and makes even more. I’m… not wanting to bounce around from crappy job to crappy job and work myself to death because I have no retirement. I was maximizing a dead end job for thirteen years and I hated it. As I continue to learn from motivational speeches online and in books I seem to need a why. Something to fight for, a reason to get up and get shit done. I don’t have one. Originally it was so that I could take care of my mother when she got old and senile. She always said that she didn’t have enough for retirement and then she lost that retirement when she got let go from her last job. Her boyfriend had a retirement plan for two when his wife passed away. Now my mother and her white supremacist boyfriend are retiring in five years. My mother is retiring at 55 and I don’t have to worry about her anymore. Unless I win a million bucks I will not be retiring at 55. 85 or 95 if I don’t get a good thing going before I turn forty. There is no way anyone is going to marry me and solve this crisis for me also. 65 or 75 is when I want to retire. Assuming I’m not a brittle old man. Damn, I need to make babies and raise one to take care of me. Anyways, watch this inspo short story. Ta!

Last updated November 06, 2019