[01] NoJoMo '19 in MoMoMo

Tell us about the best or worst person you know. by Dark As Day, Bright As Night

The worst person I know, hands down, is myself. I always refer to myself as the “Goddess of Bad Decisions”.

After intense (and many years of) therapy, some of the things I feel guilt over were completely out of my control.

However, there are still many things that I have done that warrant my own personal place of punishment after this life.

For example, I am pro-choice. However, abortion wasn’t for me. But, there was a split moment where I considered it when I found out I was pregnant with Jon. I told him this one day, when he was going through a period of grief after my Dad died. I told him that he is one of the greatest blessings to me and everyone else around me. While it was meant to be encouraging, it was the wrong time to tell him, because I made him feel worse. We got past it though. Of course, there are also major mistakes that were made, but those are not for public eyes.

The best person in my life is Andrew. Children were obviously there, but he is my soulmate. We’ve been together forever, through various lifetimes, and I know we will find each other again.

He has been my absolute rock throughout my life. He still loves me after all the bullshit I’ve said, done, put him through…he has done so many things for my kids. He drove me to prenatal when I was pregnant with Jon…even raised Jon as his own. Adoption is expensive, but Jon’s donor was able to fuck up enough to sway a judge my way in a custody proceeding. This judge also said that Andrew could formally adopt Jon because it could also be considered “Abandonment”. While Jon is 14, this is something I still want to do. Just gotta save up.

I do work toward being better. Sometimes, I think I’m just here to play the negative role in life. I make all the wrong mistakes; sometimes deliberately, to see what happens, and sometimes accidentally.

In my old age, I just figure, “Fuck it, at least it’s a lesson of some sort.”

Last updated January 01, 2020