How to forgive myself for being bipolar. in Mental Health

Being bipolar (among all the many other things) affects my behaviors (obviously), but my behaviors affect my relationships with other humans. More often than not, my behaviors change in negative ways because I’m generally a pretty decent human with positive behaviors, and these negative behaviors can hurt not only me but everyone around me. I am lucky enough to have some very forgiving people in my life, but sometimes I forget to forgive myself for things that are sometimes beyond my control. I didn’t choose to be bipolar. I didn’t ask for it and I would give just about anything for a cure.

It’s important for me to remember to take responsibility for my hurtful behaviors, ask for forgiveness, and choose to forgive myself. In the end, it doesn’t matter if others forgive me or not, but if I don’t forgive myself, I’ll just stay stuck in this loop of negative self-talk and self-loathing. If I get stuck, I can’t move forward in my journey of well-being and self-love.

1.) Realize and accept that, no matter how hard I try, I can’t change what has already happened. All I can do is learn from it, grow, and move forward, always forward.

2.) Take responsibility for what I’ve said or done and the pain it may have caused others, and ask for forgiveness. Even if someone doesn’t forgive me, I must forgive myself. Forgiveness is a process and takes time, but I must continue on a forward-thinking path.

3.) Stop reliving conversations and events over and over in my head. Reliving the same painful memories obsessively will not allow healing. It is self-abuse. Wallowing is not forward movement, it is a dead stand-still on the highway to emotional well-being.

4.) Working through difficult emotional issues. Not all behaviors are “because bipolar.” There are dysfunctional behaviors triggered by negative emotional issues, memories and traumas, and those behaviors can be exacerbated by bipolar, but aren’t caused by it. I have to get to the emotional roots of what I am experiencing in the moment rather than focusing on the bipolar symptom itself. Those dysfunctional behaviors are caused/triggered by unresolved issues that bipolar disorder merely intensifies.

5.) Self-acceptance is essential. I am who I am, mental illness and all, and that is okay. I am okay. I am a decent human being. I care about others. I try to do no harm. I make mistakes and that’s okay. Sometimes I can’t. I just can’t. And so I cry. And that’s okay. Sometimes I get on my own nerves. And that’s also okay. It just means that I’m self-aware. I’m only human. I’m unique because we’re all unique, so there is no wrong way to be me. I am worthy of love and acceptance, most of all from myself.