A life worth living. in Other life events.

Is this a life worth living?

Casual argument with my conscience last night in bed, i was finding it hard to sleep again. It probably took me a good 3-4 hours of tossing and turning before it was lights out at about 6am.

Just because others think they are "normal" and that there lifestyle should be the norm does not mean you are weird or different because of how you live your life, right?

I know i'm not exactly normal but who can really place a label on what is normal these days, everyone is different in there own way. Me personally? I'm antisocial and find it hard to get close to people, i constantly push people away while suffering with confidence issues. If people stick around long enough i normally get pretty clingy and i despise that feeling, the feeling of how your life wouldn't be the same without them.

The future is a crushing force on my mind recently, am i ready for all this change yet again? Is it really worth it? If i don't succeed this time will i simply give up forever?

I finally broke the 15 stone mark and hit 14'13 today. Well it looked like 14'3 anyway it was kind of hovering between the two. I guess i'll continue down this path and try focus on making myself more "normal". People being judgmental over your appearance is a "normal" thing, i even do it myself so i'm no saint.

From someone's weight, to the way they look, to even the way they dress.

That's another thing i guess, i have no sense of fashion, it's actually pretty horrendous, i'm a t shirt and jeans kind of guy, every day nerd i guess.

Anyway the point of this whole post is, have you ever asked yourself if you are happy with yourself, your lifestyle, your friendships, relationships? Have you ever considered attempting to change but been too scared to even muster up the courage to even think about a simple change? That's how i feel on a daily basis, the idea of change terrifies me simply because it signifies the end of something.

I guess i'll just take babysteps and take every day as it presents itself, i suppose that's how everyone else deals with this situation. I'll just focus on reaching my 10'7 goal for weight which is 147 lbs.

Also nervous about my driving test too, not because i care about failing; i just hate wasting peoples money when they have faith in me that i will pass.