Good God Get A Grip Girl in Current Events

After I wrote my entry yesterday I wanted to talk to somebody so I called my mother.
“Ma! I’m trying not to freak out right now“
“What’s wrong son?“
“My hair is falling out and I’m gonna die!“
“Get a job you bum“
“k“
Yeah, the conversation was like that. It felt like that anyway. Obviously I will be getting a hold of my doctor tomorrow when their office is open. I’ll also be asking if there are any new breakthrough medications available that could possibly correct my sexuality because I’ve been too gay to function these days. Immediately my mother knew that my problem was stress. Sometimes I forget that it was just a few years ago that I had a complete nervous breakdown. I feel like I am coping well but after the pain of listening to my mother explain to me how I am actually not coping well, I think she might right. I am avoiding my problems and my solutions and I’m just coping from the stress of avoiding that if that makes sense. After talking to her I realized that I am struggling to eat, I’m drinking too much, I’m ignoring my finances, I’ve isolated myself from the world and this doesn’t sound like much but this is how my last nervous breakdown started. Also how the nervous breakdown before that one started as well.

So in the meantime, while I wait to see my doctor about my thyroid I looked into how other people dealt with their Telegen Effluvium Alopecia. It can be reversed, maybe. Doctors will prescribe a topical solution but that will only mask the problem if it doesn’t make it worse. I have a fighting chance if I follow these five tips:

1) Supplementing with a strong B-complex to get the energy metabolism to work correctly again.
2) Supplementing with Ashwagandha to help bring my cortisol levels down. Stress management.
3) Enriching my diet in omega-3 fats and lowering it in omega-6 fats to reverse chronic inflammation damages and help return my body to a state of balance.
4) Use a topical aid to boost hair and help alleviate shedding until my body’s hormones are under control. Avoid minoxidil.
5) Avoid shampoos with sulphates and parabens as they strip your hair of protective oils.

When I grew my hair out it was a challenge to get it healthy so I switched to carbon-neutral hair products that were free of sulphates and parabens. It was not successful at washing my sins away but people envied my hair’s health. It is recommended that I do shampoo daily to remove bacteria. Step 4 is something that I already do also. I use a castor/rosemary oil mix on my scalp which, apparently, helps slow bacteria growth. So I have steps 4 & 5 down. I used to have Ashwaganda root powder but I tossed it. It tasted like day-old ass sex (I assume) and I just wasn’t using it enough. I’ll go get more, I was able to add it to my coffee without tasting it. Now for omega-3s, I do eat a lot of seeds but I could do more. I do want to start using the plate method for at least one of my meals during the day. I used to infuse water with lemon, mint and chia seeds overnight and then drink that all day so I definitely have not been keeping my body alkaline either now that I think about it. That might explain why my knees crap out on me, our bodies leak calcium from our bones to neutralize our blood if it gets acidic (FYI: dairy = acidity = calcium loss). I do supplement with B12 and my vegan multivitamin does contain B6 but I could get a supplement that contains a combination of other B vitamins. I also don’t take them daily but that could easily change as well. Hetal, my sister from another mister is a licensed pharmacist so I don’t even have to go talk to my doctor about this stuff. She will know more. I’ll inform him about what I am supplementing with when I see him of course.

Leanne’s Birthday
As predicted I felt pressed like a panini about going out last night. My social anxiety is like that. I never heard of this venue that she wanted me to go to and it turned out to be a Japanese Steak Bar. My options were crazy limited. It was such a high-stress situation for me. I apologize if this sounds racist but it is always a struggle for me at any oriental eatery to get the staff to understand my dietary restrictions so I just don’t put myself in that situation and avoid those restaurants. Ichiban, the venue we were at yesterday, was a situation. We sit around a flat-top grill and a chef comes and makes our food. It was actually pretty dope, I did not know my city had this. I hate causing a fuss but I had to keep explaining to the staff that I do not eat animals or animal byproducts. It’s embarrassing to be a vegan in a steak bar. My server tried to give me chicken soup. We took the chicken out for you… Then cucumber with crab on it. She took it back to get me “a new one” but I could tell that they just scrapped out all of the crab meat. They had zero information about the sauces that they put in front of me and when I tried to order steamed rice and steamed vegetables the server told me to order the vegetarian plate. She promised me that it was vegan. They bring the plate to the chef at our table and it had a giant gob of butter on it. Luckily the chef understood that I was vegan and so he cooked me what I wanted in the back. Which I then paid $25 for. The rice on my plate is probably fifteen cents from the bulk bin, the vegetables I could have gotten from the frozen food section for $2.50 and the udon noodles would have been about $2 in the imported food section and then I could have made that dish five times. What I was charged felt criminal.

I did not feel like I was connecting to anybody yesterday. That could have all been in my head though. Leanne accidentally said something racist to me that almost made me blow up. She asked me a cultural question about “my people” and I explained to her that our country did not steal kids from their families to force them to forget how to be “Indians” so that I could have that answer for her. She responded with “you could go educate yourself.” My grandparents were in those schools and were whitewashed to become Christians. What a dumb bitch thing to say to me. I decided to just not be offended. Her partner Chris had a cute moment though when he asked me if it is hard being vegan. I pointed at his plate and said no. He ordered vegetarian sushi which was all plant-based lol. Why didn’t I order sushi? I don’t like anything that tastes like seafood, yet. I was worried about my employment situation becoming a hot topic. It was brief. It felt condescending when they did a little cheer when I said that I wanted this time off. I might have just been extra sensitive because of Leanne’s comment and the horrifying experience that I was having with the restaurant. When Angelina asked me why I was fired it felt weird to say it out loud. “I reported predatory behaviour to head office and they felt that the best way to cut the tension was to terminate me and everybody with knowledge of those allegations.”

Same Old Same Old
They invited me to go hang out at Angelina’s after dinner but absolutely everybody was going to do shrooms and smoke up and I was not feeling up to be around that so I went home. The universe heard me explain why I got fired to Angelina so my recommended content on YouTube was all about Gretchen Carlson taking down Fox’s CEO Roger Aisles for sexual harassment. The parallels of her situation felt so close to mine. Just from what I heard from her interviews.

Karamjeet failed to understand how the way that she was treating me constituted as sexual harassment because “I’m a married woman and it is not in my culture”. When I reported Larry’s predatory behaviour, coercing young vulnerable women into compromising positions to head office and the predatory culture that these operators had created, they completely failed to protect their employees and they fired the trouble maker instead. Now my claims look like sour grapes. These operators are hard to replace as they run multiple locations so I was the easy way out. Gretchen Carlson sued, do you think that I could get away with a lawsuit? I definitely have emotional damages. I actually had a very vivid dream about going back to my restaurant just to make Karamjeet uncomfortable with my presence. They all know the truths that I can tell and I think that is why they were so intimidated about firing me.

When I first brought these allegations about Larry to Stephen, our Regional Manager had asked if I told Brad, My general manager and I made it clear that I did. Larry is Brad’s boss. Stephen was so very disappointed that he did not hear about these allegations from Brad and that he told me to just ignore it. Stephen asked for some time to consult with his peers and his team at Head Office on how to approach this. They decided that this should be Kirk’s problem, the franchisee who owns forty stores. Larry is his right-hand man, his Operations Manager who is in charge of installing General Managers like Brad. Larry is the one who can’t keep his hands of his employees. When the allegations made its way down the grapevine to other stores the GM’s there were defending him with comments like “if they are of age then he didn’t break any laws. He didn’t actually do anything wrong.” They were saying this to their management team, giving them an okay to pursue sexual relations with their employees. Larry shookdown everybody before they “investigated” so nobody stepped up to the plate and they could not prove his current affair. I had the receipts for the previous ones but they were not interested. They called it “bygones” even though I explained to them that the woman who provided me with those receipts felt intimated and coerced to do what she did. The only change that they decided to make was to relocate Larry until they can remove me and install him back to the area.

I think I have an idea, it’s not a good one but after Stephen handed the problem down to Kirk for him to resolve he stepped out of the situation. I still have his contact information, I think that I want to explain, via e-mail, about the harassment that I received and what others received and how they all failed to protect their employees and that I am considering filing a lawsuit for emotional damages and wrongful termination. These people have absolutely nobody to answer to and no one to hold them accountable and their employees deserve better. This franchise does not want any unions so they need to provide something else to give their employees access to head office and more protection. I’ll read what Gretchen Carlson wrote in her claim and draw what I can from there. Stephen is a nice guy and maybe he will look into creating some change and maybe I will get some catharsis. I don’t know if I would actually pursue legal action. Leanne works at my country’s largest law firm and would have no problem asking around about helping me find help. I’m just really struggling to move on here.

I have three different routes in which I run in my neighbourhood and yesterday I ran all three of them. Not a slow steady pace either, I actually just ran and ran and ran and I felt like was running away and it felt so good that I couldn’t stop. I thought that I was going to collapse dead when I got home but the adrenaline in my body was too high that I worked out for an hour to try and burn myself out. I think I have to admit to myself that I am not okay right now.

Last updated October 20, 2019