October 19, 2019 in Productivity Diary

Beginning balance: 19.05 hours

I need to WORK! This method would probably be more effective if combined with the other method too.

15 minutes
12 mins
16 mins 50 secs

I’m going to get the stopwatch running and I’m not going to pause it, how’s that?

1 hour 3 minutes 39 secs
50 mins 14 secs

I think I need to finish all these grading. As long as I still have grading to do, I still feel like I can’t do other things.

1 hour 1 mins
3 mins 4 secs
1 hour 11 mins

Current balance: 14.02 hours

Okay, I am in fact wasting too much time.

I am still grading! I am so slow. I need to combine the two methods together. Okay now, from now until bedtime today, I will be alternating 25 minutes physical task and grading one paper.

14 mins 4 secs

7:44 PM 25 minutes physical task

46 mins
14 mins

Ending Balance: 12.07 hours

A snippet from my daily messages to him:

I don’t really know what kind of life I want, and I’m so busy, but what am I doing really? I used to think that since I was so shy and socially awkward, and I LOVED my college experience, and I always got along with my college professors, I should be in academia; as in, becoming a college professor and never leaving that place I loved again. Well, I entirely underestimated how freaking hard it is to get into their place– a tenure-track position. But really, no one ever told me that it would be so hard; like, I did read plenty of caution articles about getting a career in academia, but whenever I brought up those points from articles, my college professors would dismiss it and say someone like me needn’t worry about those. Well, at this point, I’m utterly defeated by the requirements to publish original research, and I have to do a bunch of soul-searching to figure out how wrong I have been with my own perception about myself, and how I may NOT make another mistake with the next step. You know, I still get comments from people who just met me about how I look like a nun (no idea why really, I’m actually a fan of casual jeans and t-shirt), or someone who would make a good nun, or someone who is going between convents trying to find the right one for myself (it works like finding a partner– you have to look for your match in terms of activities, personality etc.). Okay, the point of this is that, I turn out to be quite different a person than how I used to perceive myself, which was based on other people’s perception of myself: apparently, I’m not nerdy enough to be in academia, and I do want a man!

Last updated October 20, 2019