Still tired but enjoying my day off. in Since OD is shutting down....

I wish I got more days off. I work a lot and I'm glad for it but when my days off come, I can't decide if I want to just sleep or be awake to just watch tv and hang out. I love my days off but they go way to damn fast.

Yesterday I dropped the car off at the shop, came home and passed back out. I woke up in time to go to my class but skipped it because I wasn't about to jump out of bed and sprint down to the school because I don't function well when I first wake up and I didn't want to risk a car accident or what not. I got all my work done and turned in yesterday. My test was pretty easy and I'm hoping for a good grade. My gen ed classes are going well and my grades are good. College is going pretty good so far. I have to schedule a meeting with my advisor in the few days to discuss what classes I'm going to take for next semester. I don't plan to take summer classes because I'd like a break from school and just focus on work for the summer.

I'm so tired. I'm kinda stressed because I have to be at work at 11am tomorrow and be there all day. I'm glad because I hope to make some good money but I don't want to work as hard as I did last Sunday because I've been tired all week because of it. I need to remember to schedule the 18th off as that's court day and no matter what happens, I know that i'm not going to want to work that day. I'm more than likely going to be a wreck and not trying to work and deal with assholes when I'll probably be all emotional and shit. I'm trying to decide if i want to take Monday off as well. Not sure if I want to miss that many hours but it's spring break from school and it would be nice to get a couple of days off from everything.

I have to pay on my recliner on Monday and I have to pay my phone bill a few days after that. I would like to buy a new phone since the one i have doesn't want to hold a charge for shit anymore and I have to constantly charge it. I saw one yesterday at the pawn shop but it's kinda expensive but depending on what I make tomorrow, I may see about buying it if I can get them to lower the price. I had to buy a new deck for my car and I have a friend that is supposed to come over and put it in today but if he doesn't, I may try and figure it out for myself. I'm so sick of not being able to do so many things on my own and it's driving me fucking crazy. Plus, I'm sick of paying people to do shit.

My Mother came over yesterday to have me sign over the truck title to my brother and I had her ask him about seeing my niece. It's possible that I'll see her next Saturday but if not, I'll be sure to let everyone know that I have tried and wasn't able to so no one can say that I'm an absentee aunt by choice. I would really like to have that little girl in my life, even once a week for an hour at a time. It's just bullshit how her Mother gets to control me having a relationship with my niece all because she doesn't like me. I could understand if there was a valid reason to keep her away but keeping her from me all because she doesn't like me isn't fair to anyone and I'd like my niece to grow up around people who can act like mature adults. We need to set an example for her.

Anyway, so I guess my Mom has a job interview on Monday at the same place she quit a few months ago with no notice. I just hope she gets her job back and starts making money because she really needs to have a life outside of the house. I'm just so irritated that she hasn't had a job in months and every time I talk to her, she just doesn't seem like she's even in reality anymore. It's like she doesn't allow herself to worry about bills because she doesn't have a way to pay them. I just hope that when she does get a job, she doesn't go back to being my Dad's door mat and pays for everything again. Obviously she can't take care of everything anymore and he needs to learn to accept that. She asked me yesterday if I wanted to go outside and say hi to him and I said no because he doesn't care to have anything to do with anyone unless he's getting something out of it and she dropped it real fucking quick. I just don't care to have anything more to do with my Dad because he doesn't give a fuck about anyone but himself and there's no relationship with someone like that, at least not a healthy one and I'm not going back to having a one sided relationship with him just so that I can be around. It's just not worth it. I see my parents driving sometimes and he doesn't even so much as wave at me so why the fuck should I go outside and say hi to him?! My Mom needs to get it through her thick head that my dad is a piece of shit that I no longer care to try and have anything to do with. I'm done.

I just don't understand how she thinks it should be up to me to constantly try and stay connected to my Dad. I've always been the one to try and understand why he's mad at me and whatever but this time what did I do? Quit giving them money. I'm sorry that my Mom doesn't work because I can't afford to help them. i couldn't afford to give them all that money and I did because I thought I'd get at least some of it back and because that didn't happen, I refuse to give them another dime. They've managed to get by just fine without my help for the past couple of months so they can continue to live without my help. My Mom said something the other day about her parents won't help her and I said it's probably because she doesn't pay anyone back and then she hung up on me. It's like her and my Dad just refuse to accept that they ever do anything wrong to anyone and it's just so fucking annoying!!!

I really wish I had another day off. I am still just so fucking tired. I plan to go to bed pretty early tonight since I have to work pretty early in the morning and be there all fucking day. I love my job but this sleep deprived feeling really sucks. I'm scared that I'm getting sick because I'm so run down. I'm just glad that spring break is in a week and the weather is starting to improve. I honestly hate winter time and hope to move to a place that has a very mild winter because I hate having to worry about blizzards and being cold all the fucking time.

I'm waiting for my friend to come over but if he doesn't, I'm going to go take a nap and then worry about hooking my deck up another day. I just hope that he does what he says he's going to do because I get sick of deal with people not doing what they say they will do even when I'm paying them. He messaged me a little bit ago on Facebook so that's a good sign. Now, just hoping to get shit done...