Karma Police in Current Events

I was wearing my cranky pants this morning. Well, technically I wasn’t wearing any pants but you get the gist. I was mad to see more white stuff on my land. Ok, that’s a bad joke but I get flustered when we get our first snowfall. The storm barely started yesterday and people were already landing themselves in ditches. Well to be fair, we just need a little drizzle to get the drivers in my city to crash their cars. Usually, I have to go to work but I get to ease myself into these driving conditions. Are my tires good? Do I need new wiper blades? It was a woman from my city who invented windshield wipers. I went a whole winter without them once. The motor went and I hate dealing with my car so I just didn’t turn the heat on so the snow wouldn’t stick to the window. I’m a special kind of stupid. The photo above is from last year, my phone and my computer are not getting along right now.

Yesterday I was all about the spooky cooky vibe for Halloween and today I am already listening to Pentatonix covers of various Christmas songs. I’m craving the scent of rosemary and peppermint. My niece and I agreed that we are going to watch the Prince of Egypt tonight. I’ve always loved the bible stories from Sunday school growing up. Especially about Jesus. He went from 13 to 30 in the canon that we all know today but there are a lot of stories from those missing years that are also quite interesting. I sound religious. Not so much. My beliefs are complicated and personal.

It wasn’t too easy but I managed to lift my mood a bit. I need to create better karma. Karma is not a what goes around comes around type of thing. I think that’s a Christian construct, the whole do good = get good. Karma is more about how life is what you make it. If you’re a negative person who doesn’t appreciate anything then you will think that your life is shitty. A positive person dealt the same cards could think that he hit the jackpot and love his life. I don’t know if I am whitesplaining karma well but basically I just need to change my attitude. Chin up.

Speaking of chin-ups, the gym is the only place where I can run now. Thanks climate change. I better put my membership to good use because my body image issues keep slapping me in the face. Not that I mind a slap now and then. One of the guys that I follow on YouTube had a guy do one specific bicep curl for thirty days and the results were sus. I tried those curls yesterday and wow! They really did hit everything and I can actually feel the burn today. I really do want to take my fitness to the next level. I want to do Crossfit and use my body to workout but I’ll save that for the summer. Baby steps. I’ve been saying this for years and I really need to boss up.

I don’t know what it is about seeing all this snow that is making me think about my 2019 New Year resolutions. Quitting my job was on the top of my list for 13 years and they finally did that for me. Thanks Karamjeet you cock juggling thundercunt whore mongering skankface mega douchetard anal leaking shit smear looking day old ass sex smelling slut for this gift. I really should be thanking Ganesha, the remover of obstacles and the placer of Obstacles, I really do feel that I really am being forced to grow this year. In the meantime, I need a photo Karamjeet so that I can do a binding spell to prevent her from harming… or a voodoo doll that I can drown.

I was going to light a black flame candle to resurrect the Sanderson sisters but now because of the snow, I want to light a pine-scented candle and open my day-planner and journal and inspire myself to finish my 2019 resolutions and start planning my 2020. I also want to wrap my Christmas presents lol. This is so fucked up.