It can be scary. in Van Life Diary

Only because I took up a job that is not only at a lower wage (not minimum wage) than the work I had for the past few years but it’s also part time; I don’t have a van in better condition and will most likely take a long time to have the money for the original plans I had for a great build to rely on.

I’d have to find more ways to earn more money to be satisfied as I figure out if I want to do a simple build for now and get a different, better van, or get a hell of a lot of renovations with the wiring and seals in order for the van to be worth turning into a long term living space.

My worries in the start of this journey:
It’s later in the year which means it’s getting cold. I spent my whole check on getting registration mostly, insurance, gas (I went to my home state in order to do this), and I hardly had enough for food since Saturday and I have no propane for the heater. From today, I have one more day until I get paid, as I do weekly. This is the first time I don’t have enough money for anything.

Most of the time I like to be alone, but I like to be social sometimes. The past few days was so scary and depressing for me despite the relief I should have felt more after finally leaving a toxic relationship and be able to ride the roads legally. I went to work sad, uninterested; which made me worry even more of myself. I was confused why I wasn’t happy. I was so broken and cried the night before because my normal insecurities were bothering me more than usual. Maybe a number of things triggered me. It could also be simply change in environment and I’m not comfortable yet.

Especially after the rain and finding out my van has water seeping inside it. I’m afraid the whole roof or all the windows and doors and whatever else within the frame, would need to be repaired. Eventually I’ll have to find out where it came from. I was too exhausted and a wet floor was just another test for my mentality.

It’ll take more time than I wish, as for having a well insulated, finished, furnished, hygienic, and solar powered electrical supplied van. I only hope I’ll be able to live a decent life as a van dweller.

Last updated October 09, 2019