I'm Friends with the Monster that's Under My Bed in All of Me

I love that song.

Alright....so here's how my crazy goes.Jay texted me a few times yesterday.I answered him but I told I was too tired to see him.Then I told him I wasn't interested in hooking up with because Im not trying to do that to myself again.Getting over him was really hard.I don't know if I ever got over him I just know that we will never work!He said he was just trying to hang out with a friend and said we could hook up if I wanted to though.lol I know him well enough to know that he would try something.

So the other night d and I are talking and he's talking about his okcupid profile and I asked why he still had one and if he is looking for someone else.He said nothing ever happens from it and he was never really looking for anyone just passing the time.So I told him I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page,I liked him and would like to see where it goes...not saying I need a relationship right now just I'm looking for more than a hookup etc.He said he likes me too and he's definitely not looking for just a hookup but his relationship situation is difficult because he will probably relocate with national weather services.Blahhhhhh he has told me this before in reference to why he hasn't had a gf in a long time.Then he asked if I would be willing to go with him.The thing is,if we were serious and doing well,I would.i have nothing keeping me here for real and I'm tired of Richmond.However we would have to be committed for real.I told him that and he said of course that's what he meant.But I'm wondering if he said that just to throw me off.I don't want to be strung along but I can't bring myself to talk about it again.

I just think if he really wants me he wil try to make it work and I shouldn't have to be the one initiating conversations about this.Oh and yes we met through okcupid.i deactivated my profile but he hasn't ew.i should stop seeing him.