Thing in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

I know that a palliative is unhelpful right now… but I’ll tell you I am missing Raven.

Catfish or no, the idea that a beautiful 20-something Goth could find me attractive… I valued that. The fact that she was willing to talk with me was nice. I think that’s the biggest suck of what is going on right now. I’m lonely. If I were in my wife’s position, at least I could try to make friends on the campus. Maybe even join a group or two. Not that she’d do anything like that. I think she genuinely likes being by herself. But me? I’m lonely.

And I’m starting to think that while I may be cut out for this job, I’m not cut out for this town. Because in a small town… how do I make friends? ESPECIALLY considering that I’m the Assistant County Attorney. Everybody in town knows me from dealing with me as The Bad Guy or because they had a friend or relative deal with me as The Bad Guy.

It’d be a sad waste of money but I’d certainly consider hiring a high-class call girl to play make believe. Someone to cradle my head and run their fingers through my hair. To lay next to me and curl up, cuddling. To make me feel likable, attractive. Cuz mostly what I feel? Lonely.