Why do they let me freak out in Second 1st

Yesterday was a mess. I’d been freaking out about the release date for a good week now and yesterday was the last day I could get it straightened out. I had been in contact with the disability admin at Vanderbilt but because Kate hadn’t put it in her notes that it would be a few more weeks before I could go back.... well… the only thing she could do was send an email on to the Dr. .... so I had to wait Ï should hear back from him by morning.”...... 9:05 I”m calling her… not at desk, left a message. 9:45 not at desk, 10:15 not at desk 10:50 not at desk.... 11:45 not at desk.

I called the disability people to make sure what I would need to get my ENT to put me out for longer and explained the situation to him. He said just have her said the visit notes to him. I had made an appointment at one and honestly was feeling better after talking to him. All that I had to do was explain to the ENT and have her send the visit notes.... I didn’t even have to ask her to put me out, just had to send the notes. “Make sure you go over your symptoms” was what I was told. No problem!.... Thanks to him and KNOWING ENT would help I was a good bit less dizzy going in than I was when I was trying to call the desk jockey who can’t be at her desk.....

ENT had no problem with my request. Gave me some tips about the migraines and gave me bad news :(.... She is leaving in December. This makes me sad. I have been so blessed to have her. Hopefully I will be well back at work then… and will really never need her but she’s been such a gift. I’ve read people’s complaints on the FB group about how hard it has been to get diagnosed and she’d been very diligent and understanding. i will miss her.

After the visit with my ENT I got a call back from the admin. The doctor has me out again till I see the therapist the 18th.... this week.... then the admin sent a note to the therapists about what needed to be in the notes if I was not ready to go back to work yet. So.... Holly will be back this week and I hope she was included in that email.

I need a clear path. I need someone to say.... here is the date you go back. So I can go to HR and get a new clock in badge or whatever.... buy a new lunchbox cause Rocky stole mine, plan food for the weekends for both of us now.... get into gear ya know....

and if I fail.... if I have to go home too many times… too early… due to symptoms....well.... we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it. I’ll likely lose the good job I’ve had 6 years now and have to find a place to flip burgers on 4 hour shifts to make ends meet.... or whatever I can find to do to bring in something. Then Rocky will have to do more Overtime....