Disgust in ❅journal 2019❅

I feel like a horrible person. I want to die so badly I’m even fantasizing about it. I’m terrified of anyone find where I live on here and contacting my family. I’ll be punished and I can’t take that. I really can’t.

I try so hard to do what my mother says, to know that crying won’t fix anything and that no one will care or feel sorry for you if you cry because your weak if you cry. I hear her saying it in my head but I can’t help but cry so badly it hurts.

I don’t want John to be dissapointed in me, yeah I don’t care about censoring my boyfriend’s name anymore. I’m so tired that I just can’t anymore.