Tomplex in Current Events

I don’t have the energy to produce any receipts but I did just get that trim after all. I don’t know why I felt so nervous. Anyways, it’s alright but it’s not enough. I know that now. I took Jen’s advice and let her trim it up. A blunt cut is pretty simple, she got offended when I said that I would go to a barber for the other cuts when I am ready. She is in impossible to make plans with and I’ll need somebody to help with the upkeep. I believe that the barbershop that I used to go to does free touchups. I would be going in every three weeks to keep up with a fade. Also, I actually think that I decided to get the quiff. I’ve had the top fade before so that would be safe but I’ve never had a quiff before so why not?… I was fantasizing about it last night. I will be so gagged when it’s done. I think that I will aim to get it done next week. I love Love LOVE the quiff with the curls that these young lads are sporting these days! However, my curls aren’t that lush. Also, my face is not as pretty as theirs also lol. I’ll look for a style of quiff that will suit me better.

I am not in the mood for a lot of my friends, especially Toni. She is such a fairweather friend. Sort of, she only wants me around when her going gets tough. I ignored her text yesterday and then ran into her while I was out with Jen and Erin. It was awkward. I ran into Tiffany at the Forks also. She works at the toy shop, I am kind of jealous about the location of her work. I used to work with Tiff, she is the only other vegan that I know. She is also the sweetest person and the world does not deserve her. Anyway, Toni briefly explained to me that she might be getting laid off so she was looking for work at the Forks. I’m like damn, I was depending on her job to get us an apartment. Hers would look better on an application because she’s been there for so long.

I’ve been ignoring my situation again. I bought myself some time when I dipped into my retirement savings so I just haven’t been facing the reality of my situation at all. I haven’t even looked at my budget. No bank or credit card statements either. I’m completely in the dark which is not my style at all. I’m just in denial. I haven’t really been out of control with my spending. I do like to get out of the house and check out what is at Winners and Marshalls. I bought $30 worth of facemask kits the other day. I am buying some gift bags today and I am sorting through my pile of stuff. I’m assembling little self-care kits. Masks, soaps, oils & sprays. Last year I went with lunch bags, bento boxes and little containers for meal preps. I had my Christmas shopping done in October. It was a stress-free holiday. Halleloo. Also, I think it’s funny that I kept saying that I was unemployed for five months. Must have felt like five months but it’s only been four so far.

Amber won 5k at the Casino last weekend and now I’ve had that itch. I really don’t want to go, I lost control last time. She’s won big a few times since then also, playing keno. I’m not 70 but I’ll play keno if it will pay that much.

I think that my brother in law left town to go back to work again. I feel so selfish about liking him out of town because he works up to 16 hours a day and does not get any days off until he comes home for a week. I just don’t like this one bathroom house situation. I developed separation anxiety with the bathroom, he can lock us all out for up to an hour randomly and that stresses me out.

Speaking of being stressed out, it’s been two weeks in a row that I tore through a box of wine within 4-5 days. That’s almost 5 bottles worth. Am I out of control? I am not going to buy any alcohol for a while. I just been watching RuPaul and drinking wine or cooking and drinking wine or playing Tomb Raider and drinking wine. I am absolutely on the fence about buying a PS4 just so that I can play the remastered Final Fantasy VIII… the bare minimum was done to “remaster” it but I want to play it anyway. I can buy a brand new PS4 for about $400 or a refurbished one for up to $30 less or a used one on Kijiji for about $150. All so that I can play a $40 PS1 game lol. iDumb

I think that I should log out now and go look at my financials and write down a proper action plan for next week. I love New Years and the new year new me energy and I want to bring that to every Monday. I feel ready to start looking for work. A shitty job should be easy enough to acquire. When I was at Marshalls I noticed how fucking awful and discombobulated the shelves were. The staff walk around like they don’t respect their work and I don’t know why the management there lets them get away with that. I think that I do want a position in management after all. Not too high up because my soul is crushed enough but I do get a lot of job satisfaction when it comes to leading a team. I know that I can motivate people to enjoy and respect their work.