I got assaulted in Adventures in paradise

I hate writing about uncomfortable situations that have happened to me. Because, then I have to relive them again.

On my way back from Sydney (or moreso on my way back from the Gold Coast airport) the train had stopped at Helensvale train station, which is a station I'm used to departing from and getting on at, as I go there to visit friends or shopping sometimes, plus it's a hub for buses to pretty much anywhere on the Gold Coast. Well anyway, luck would have it, my friend who lived there was messaging me at the time. I should have just gotten off at that station, I'm the hope he'd wanna hang out. It would be perfect timing to, right? But I was tired. He might not have wanted to either. The ironic thing is, the train was held up for ages there too - just sitting there, awaiting a passing train to come through from the other direction, as there is only one track between Helensvale and Coomera, which I don't mind at all, as the view is quite nice between those two stations.

Anyway, of course at that time, my piece-of-shit phone decides to fuck up, so I have no idea if my friend is messaging me or not, as I couldn't get signal. My God, I swear this phone will be the end of me. Nothing but trouble, but I stick with it because it's just cheaper to at this point in time. I still have a laptop to pay off, technically. I don't like being silly and overdoing it financially, but my God, it would be a whole lot less stressful if I just threw this phone out the window into an oncoming bus sometimes.

So anyway, the doors to the train close, and the train takes off. "Too late now" I think.

Of course, as one would expect, my phone then decides to work, and my friend is telling me to get off at Helensvale. Groans You have GOT to be kidding me! Thanks phone! I could have just gotten off at there and everything would have been alright. Things would have been normal. I had an idea. I said to my mate, "I can get off at Coomera if you like." It really wasn't that much further of a drive for him to come get me, surely? He replied, "Sure, get off at Coomera. I'll come pick you up."

Lovely! It was all set. I had missed my opportunity at Helensvale to see my friend, but I could still make up for it.

I got off the train at Coomera, and couldn't decide which side of the train station my friend would be picking me up from. I then noticed the public set-down area, all lit up on the side I had departed the train from, so I lugged my luggage down there. I just had my big bag over my left shoulder and my small bag over my right shoulder.

There were few people in the car-park, obviously awaiting friends to arrive or whatnot. I saw them sitting inside their vehicles. Another person was nearby where I was standing. A few cars pulled up and left, as they do from that area.

I sort of paced back and forth a bit, trying to find the best area to stand and wait. My friend had to travel a little bit further than usual, so he'd be a few minutes.

It was then I heard a guy yelling stuff. I didn't even look to see who it was, and it didn't even click to me what he was saying. I just tuned out and wrote him off as some typical Gold Coast bogan, probably drunk or something. Then the words were ones I couldn't avoid overhearing. "Faggot! Fucking cocksucker..." I still hadn't even looked up from my phone or whatever I was doing. I'd just heard the words. When you've grown up like I have, words like that stick out more than others. But they still seemed to be coming from the other end of the pick-up area, and I assumed he was just going off about something random to some other people who were near him. There was a vehicle there, with someone driving (male I think). There was some chick getting in the passenger side.
Finally, the dickhead guy, got into the back seat, and the car drove off from the pick-up area, toward where I was standing. As the vehicle passed me, that's when I noticed him. Typical tattoo-d guy, complete derro boganized Australian species, hanging out the back window of the vehicle. it was truly only then, that I realised what he was saying was directed at me. "Fucking faggot. Cocksucker!" he yelled out the window, as the vehicle passed.

I was stunned. I think moreso that I haven't been called that in such a long time. I wasn't dressed gay, well I didn't think. I was wearing my three-quarter shorts with lots of pockets. I had bags over each shoulder. I was in dark, loose clothing. If anything, I thought I'd fit right in with half of the Gold Coast fashion population haha. What was so giving away about me, that this guy decided to taunt me?? I'd had a haircut in Sydney. All that meant was that my hair is shorter now. Still, not very gay. I hadn't said anything. I hadn't done anything. Nothing was provoked. I just... didn't get it.

As the vehicle passed and he yelled his completely original insults toward me, I retaliated by simple flipping him the bird as the car passed by. Next thing I heard him yell, "STOP!" The vehicle stopped to a halt immediately, and this guy gets out of the back seat of the car and walks right up to me.

I didn't back off a bit. I couldn't really - I had all my belongings over my shoulders anyway. I couldn't run away from him and I sure as fuck wasn't dropping anything. I think I was moreso still in shock at what was happening. As he walked right up to me, I was preparing to me punched in the face. I really was. I had no defence, no anything.
I remember what I said though. I said, "Please mate, I'm just trying to fucking get home, leave me alone!" I was sick of scumbags like this. That, of all pussy things to do or say in that situation, is what I came up with. For fuck sakes, Matt. God I am SUCH a pussycat!

I honestly can't even remember what this guy said to me. I wish I could. All I know if that he was going on about something to do with "Following his chick," or "Tryna hit on his bird". Clearly that was whoever that bimbo in the passenger seat was. I must've had the most confused look on my face. He made NO fucking sense whatsoever. Why the hell was he calling me a 'Faggot' and a "Cocksucker" and THEN yelling at me for apparently hitting on his bitch? Clearly she is if she's putting up with a scumbag shit-on-shoe like him.

Next thing I know, he SHOVES me firmly in the chest, sending me backwards. I didn't fall over though. It must have been my heavy bags that maybe kept me upright. He said something else derogatory to me, and I put my palms up, like in a "What the fuck is wrong with you?" pose. I wasn't game to say anything else. I thought my palm reaction would even be enough to set this fuckhead off again.

It's like I was still in another world. I knew I was in a dangerous situation. This guy, from what I could gather, was either drunk, drug-fucked or simply completely homophobic. Probably all three. I then saw the bimbo emerge from the car. I think he had already turned back toward the car. She was saying something to him. Something like "Just leave him alone" or "Get in the car" - something like that. I'm really not sure. It's such a strange feeling what shock does to me. I can't explain it.

He gets back in the car, and the car takes off.

Fuck.

My emotions from that point on were fucked-up, in that moment. The other guy who had been standing nearby walks up to me, "Bunch of scumbags," he says to me.

It was at that point that I started to cry. I lost it. I sobbed away quietly.

I noticed the vehicles that were there before, still all around me in the carpark of the well-lit area. Yep, people still sitting inside them. Not one person had helped me. They clearly would have witnessed what had happened. I thought to myself, "...Probably locked their doors...cowards."

I looked around the area for CCTV cameras. I was so pissed off that had happened. I wanted to report it. I couldn't see any. Great. This scumbag piece of bogan shit was going to get away with this.

My friend still hadn't arrived.
A man walked by me. I hadn't noticed him before. He must have just arrived and missed all that had just happened. He asked me if I knew if the toilets were open. I looked back up toward the train station, to see them closed up. "I don't think they are mate, sorry. You'd have to go up for a closer look," I said, clearly still distraught and in between sobs. My nose was all sniffly at this point. He continued to talk to me. I'm not sure he even realised I was upset, but he'd have to be completely silly not to. He just said something about having to go in the bushes instead, and I forced a smile and said something equally amusing back to him.

It's so stupid, writing now, because of what happened, I can't even remember the dialogue, so I'm sorry.

My mate arrived about 3 minutes later, literally. I put my stuff in the back seat of his car, and as I hopped in the front seat, I cried to him, "You won't believe what just happened to me," and I told him the story. He couldn't believe it, and apologised for not being there earlier.

You can't help these things though, and you certainly can't predict them.
I just kept thinking, "If I had just stayed on the train and gone home..." or "If I had just gotten off the train at Helensvale... I wouldn't have even had to encounter that guy."

But it happened. It could have been worse, yes. Like I said, I really was expecting a punch in the face. I said to my mate that he could have arrived to find me lying on the ground.

And I'm annoyed with myself. I was absolutely USELESS in defending myself. If I had've gotten punched, it would've probably just happened. I just remember how scared I was. I really was. Confused and scared at the same time. I didn't understand what was going on or why.

So my whole Sydney trip was fucking amazing. It's just as soon as I got back to my home state, THIS happens. Fucking hell. Really? Really??

I was thankful for my mate though. I was a complete mess when he arrived and it took me a loooong time to calm down. The situation now happened only around 30 hours ago now, and I just keep replaying that scenario over and over in my head.

My mate dropped me off at the train station in the morning after we'd woken up. I remember thinking I needed to carry one of those travel deodorants with me - you know, to use to spray in someones eyes if I get attacked. I really dunno if I'm able to buy pepper-spray from anywhere, plus I'd have to explain why I have it if anyone asks. But I really didn't have any defense on me. I'm so annoyed with myself. At least deodorant would be something...

I was so glad to get home. I'm so sick as well. All the partying had caught up on me, compiled with this situation that happened, I'm a bit all over the place at the moment :(

I told Ayden what happened. He said he doesn't get it either because he reckons that I definitely don't scream gay. I know other friends of mine would beg to differ lol. Ayden then gave me a quick demo in what to do if I get in that situation again, and reckons anyone would back off if I actually stood up to them.

It was nice to hear actually. I didn't feel like I was completely useless. But if I can't defend myself, what use is that gonna be?