move more in Second 1st

This week … well for at last 4 days of it, I’ve felt like junk. When I went to therapy yesterday I blamed the weather. As much as I honestly prefer overcast and mid 80’s above Sunny and 98 it’s apparently a thing now to feel crappy because of it. Full ear leading to full face, much more woozy all day. Generally felt like a shit show. I tried to sleep more yesterday before going to therapy because I honestly still didn’t feel even close to okay.

Therapy went horrible… well from where I stood. Rocky thinks it was the best thing ever. According to Holly I may not only have Meniere’s but also vestibular migraines. She sent … or will be sending a message to Dr. Labadie about it.

She had me “looking beyond” a disco light at a wall, told me to let her know when I started to feel sick. Small laugh from me “yup, all the time” she stopped the light and asked me what was going on. “You know that extra saliva you get right before you throw up? That.” “Oh, Jennifer, it down” “It’s no big deal, happens all the time.” “It shouldn’t” “I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, the more I do the worse it is and I was bad when I got here”

She takes my blood pressure first thing every time. Last time it was kinda high and she was concerned. This time she had me walk on a treadmill before taking my blood pressure. The reason it was high last time was because I had a short list of things “not to forget” to tell her and I wanted to get through them first thing … before I forgot. It was normal after the walk but my head was a bit dizzy contributing to the sickness with the lights.

I’m currently very.... disappointed/upset.... I feel very overwhelmed and lost?.... I know 2 entries ago I stated that I don’t always do the therapy and that I was still showing improvement so I didn’t think much of it. This week with the crappy weather I did it less.... and she didn’t look for improvements this week. However, we did take the couch cushion to therapy with us this time. She thought I was kidding. She thought when I said “I keep falling” that I wasn’t.... I was only readjusting.... until she “showed” me something new to start doing.... on my cushion.

Couple of weeks ago .... and a few weeks ago… I’d tried to make it easier on myself… asking if I could do the cushion things with my shoes off. She asked if it was easier and I said yes. So the answer was no. That it should not be easy. So I keep falling and she continued to not understand what “falling” meant. Last time I had explained to her it’s about where my upper body weight was and we came to a point of understanding. When I offered to bring the cushion. Once she got on to show me a new thing to do she had difficulty! Got off and told me the modifications I could make. Including taking off my shoes! HA! feel like I won a bit there.

In the end I still feel like it was a horrible visit because her cure for the little dizzies and feeling motion sick came off as sounding like “get used to it”. Last time she had asked me “How do you think figure skaters can spin around like they do and still skate?.... they are used to it. They just do it over and over again till it’s normal.”..... then telling me I have to DO MORE.... sigh again “the more I do the worse it is”..... I’m not dumber than a dog.... who as we all know has the ability to learn. If something effects me badly then why would I continue doing it. She thinks my problem is endurance. Like if I just do things longer they won’t bother me as much..... um sure.... apparently, she also thinks I sit all the time everyday because she was shocked when Rocky said I need to call Destiny more (because I walk around outside when I do).

I want to cry you guys. I want to cry because she wants me to do more.... meaning more dizzy, more nausea..... oh and you know how Dr. said taking the Mec was fine.... Holly said no.... again hindering my ability to compensate.... so even though I went a month without it and it was worse.... and I didn’t compensate.... now I get to do it again… while doing MORE.... so

Had a bit of an argument with Rocky about low sodium and therapy on the way up. The whole fact that I have been really slack on the sodium lately and that may be why I was bad off this last week. Then he thinks I’d be doing much better if I were doing low sodium with the therapy and that I’m not giving myself a 100% chance because of the sodium. Doing more.... such as cooking all the time like I would have to do on low sodium makes me feel bad..... but whatever, I feel like no one is listening at all. Even when I tell Rocky… who was at the damn therapy that I have to “get used to it” he says “that’s not what she said, she said your body will get used to it”.... what’s the difference?

Anyways, we talked about ways to do more… and I told him I’d really like a treadmill. That way I could get in and literally walk 500ft and hop off if I feel sick. Then wait it out and step back on. Of course between Justin’s and after the $10 goal… laundry, dishes.... and whatever running has to be done that day. So when we got home he reminded me to look it up on OfferUp and Letgo.... so I did. Some decently well off family moving to West Virginia had one listed for $30! It had only been listed a week and they had already discounted it from $50. He was anxious to be rid of it but had Rocky plug it in to make sure it worked before they put it in the van.

Joseph and Rocky moved it to the guest bedroom last night. So there is that.

I have full intention of doing my regular stuff today. Justin’s, laundry, dishes, Rocky will need to go to the store later for Bangs for the weekend. I’m going to locate 1 of the fitbits/step trackers we’ve got and get it charging.... today I do more.... tomorrow I start tracking it.

Holly will be gone for 2 weeks on a safari in South Africa. I will have another therapist for the next 2 weeks.... when Holly gets back I want to have some actually numbers to show her… like “this was a day before you said to move more and this is the average day moving more.... and if it’s helped or made it worse”..... I suspect I won’t get on much to read or write in the next 2 weeks. I’m going to “do more” Starting with cutting down the games on my phone.... cooking more (ugh).... and walking on this treadmill we got....

I plan on moving a trash container to the guest bedroom too.... for when I hurl from moving too much with no mec.... sigh I hate throwing up.