In a Nutshell! in Majimaze Musing!

Yes, I am going to try to condense all my activities for the last month? into a nutshell size!I do hope you are all well. I am, unlike Polz,I am no great lover of the cooler

weather!My bones ache and I feel chilled.If I could have warmth all year round I would.It has been a busy distracting month with lots of stuff going on.A lot of it is personal and I have yet to master the art of telling an international audience all my misfortunes so I will spare you a lot of it.There have been a few delights and some regrets.Interesting stuff too.Like my nephew Craig coming over from Australia last month and staying on the Island in a holidasy cottage for several days with his partner and their young son and several other relatives. Craig has featured a lot in my married life and since hubby died.He is 45 and normaly resides in Australia in a place called Ipswich near Brisbane.He is the last child of the family of 7 of my late brother-in-law Jimmy.,Richies older brother.He had a very troubled childhood.All the children did,as they had a very odd mother and a father who was very often just not there.As the last child,Craig knew nothing of hugs or kisses and never learned the meaning of love.Richie and I had several of the children a number of times during our marriage when the mother became impossible.Jimmy would plead with members of the family to take the kids,it was a sad experience which I tRichie and I tried our best to alleviate for the children in our care whilst bringing up our own young family. Two have remained damaged and the family is now irrevocably divided.Craig and an older brother who is a twin, are permanently scarred.I have kept contact with the entire family and tried to a point to get some sibling responsibility and affection going,however, have given up as they each tried to draw me into their conflict.Sigh.One can only do one's best and I know when I am beat. I hadn't seen Craig for some 11 years,the last time at his Dad's funeral.When I joined Facebook he contacted me and from there on I have kept an eye on his activities.He was working for Corrections,or the prisons and was quite efficient and did well.When he stayed with us as an 11 year old for some months.I had to teach him to hug and to kiss me goodnight.At first ,hewent stiff ad fought against me, then learned I was showing him my love for him.This appalled me and still does in retrospect.We have always been a 'huggy' sort of family.He was very withdarawn and would spend hours with his sketchpad,playing 'Dungeons and Dragons.'A game of Hobbit like creatures featuring monsters and knights etc.He didn't try to join in family activities,(we were farming then) and finally Richie decided he would MAKE him come along and believe it or not ,he got to love it. He fits in the age group of my lot and they would just chivvy him along.They would also laugh at him and praise him and play tricks on him and he had had so little attention given to him in his own family.He grew to love being a part of every thing we did. Then,inevitably ,he went back to his own family.I had huge misgivings.Justifiably.Several years later,his parents divorced and Craig came to us again.This time he was a morose,rebellious and some times quite nasty teenager of 14.We tried again.He would steal our kids stuff and then they would find the broken remains and Craig laughing. I could see what had happened to the child.Their poor dog arrived with him and that little foxie was a bundle of nerves and phobias.So was Craig.Finally it came to a head.Richie lost his temper.He bawled Craig out and I tell you, an ex-Army Sergeant Major can do that so effectively that grown men are reducedto a quivering mess!Next morning I found Craig curled up in the implement shed with the dog and his few belongings ,asleep and cold.I talked to him quietly until I had his confidence, then asked if he could apologise to us as a family.His reply was, 'You don't want me here.Nobody wants me .I might as well be dead.' At that moment I realised how sad and bad his life had become.The kids were at school and Richie was up on the the farm so I took him inside and gave him breakfast,then we had a BIG talk, about being lovable.He didn't know about that.He not only didn't know what love was,he had no idea how to actually behave so people would find him easy to love.It was very sobering and he cried and told me how home was and how Dad was seeing other women and Mum ignored him.He silt it all.Most of it I knew something about, however, his oint of view was awful.About 3 hours later, we had made some headway.He was going to apologise to the family for being so horrible and ask their forgiveness with me standing beside him.Dinnertime that night.In those days we all sat at the table. I served dinner including Craigs.He was in the bedroom.The kids all asked after him.They had all witnessed the 'bawling out' and were concerned.I fetched him ,then I stood beside him and told the family that Craig had something to say. It took a few minutes then he said he was sorry for all the bad things he had done and asked if they would help him to be better. Richie reacted first.He knew nothing of what had happened during the day.He got up from the table and went to shake Craigs hand and briefly hug him. He said,'It takes a big man to say sorry Craig and I am very proud of you.Of course we will help.Won't we everybody?' The kids gathere dthemselves from staring in amazement and said.'Of course'. The girls hugged him and Richard,our son, looked a bit reluctant,then muttered.'Okay mate.But you've got to stop breaking my stuff.' I won't go on about all this, it worked out pretty well,with a few exceptions and finally Craig went back to his Mother. I didn't see him again until he was in his 20's.I heard a lot about him,that he was in trouble etc etc,then he turned up dirty and dishevelled in his early 20's one day.He stayed and eat us out of house and home,and was very morose and unsociable.He stole stuff and finaly Richie told him to go.He dissapperaed off my radar for the next 10 years.Nothing,not even gossip,then I saw him again at the terribly sad funeral of his Dad.It was an awful day.A divided family,persecutions and accusations abounded in the form of eulogies and I was devastated as was Richie. Nothing again until Richie died 8 years ago.Craig arrived,Clean and tidy, Looking and sounding good.He was so loving to me and my family.He was a prison officer.It was good to see.I couldn't talk much to him at the time as I was so griefstricken. Then 2 years ago,Facebook popped him up!Wow!Iwas delighted..He was still with Corrections in Australia.He was great for about a year the I noticed a deterioration.He became agressive and rude.Not to me,ever, others copped it.Then a long message from him.He had 'burnt out'.All the nasties in the prison system had got to him and he had withdrawn from the world.He resigned from the service.Then he would ring me from Australia and he told me he was getting psychiatric help.He talked, I listened.It was good, and I felt he was getting better. His partner was right behind him and supporting him.Then in February this year, he and his family came to the Island.The first evening he came around to see me and enveloped me in a huge hug and said 'I have been needing that for so long.' We talked for hours and hours.I heard all sorts of stuff. However, The words that stayed with me were. 'You taught me how to love Aunty.I remembered all you said.' And.... "You were the only family I knew.I love you all so much." They sing in my heart now.He will be OK.He and I shared memories and he asked me to tell him all sorts of things about his family he didn't know.That knowledge has unlocked his memory for his psychiatrist and they are making good headway into repairing this man.My nephew,the lost little boy..I am so happy for him and very proud.

And this is a long story and I must finish this entry. I will continue to catch up as quickly as I can in further entries. Love you all and remember, There is nothing in life that cannot be helped by a little love. God Bless. Majimazexxxxx