yesterday in Second 1st

yesterday he got up when I went to put socks and shoes on. I said “you have 20 minutes and then I’m leaving” He managed so that was good. He wanted to go by the vape shop because his second vaporizer broke.... He can’t find the first one … so he bought a third. I told him the next one he buys has to be a really expensive one because if the cheap ones keep breaking.... or quit already.....

While we were out a company that works with MetLife called to get release forms for medical info from Dr. Labide.

Went back home and worked for about 3 hours. Got a small chunk done… I mean honestly major work! not for me though. We got Sammy’s room turned back into the guest room .... Rocky cleaned his bathroom … like finally got the puke off the side of the tub from a year ago. “Why don’t you use the master bathroom?” “That’s the nasty bathroom, you puked in it and I refuse to clean it because it was self induced stupid puke. I can’t stand to look at it.” He apparently hit his elbow while he was in there but didn’t say anything about it until much later .... when I was going down and needed him to do something of course.

I would say about 80% of the day we were cleaning but..... shelves in the 3 bookshelves in the living room are looking good. The whole house has been picked up, organized decently, swept and mopped. There are still some small projects I’ll need to get to soon and some things I absolutely have to do without Rocky.... like there is a cash drawer that needs to be trashed that Rocky swears we can sell. I see no identifying marks and it has no key. In order to get into it you have to take the top off then you would have to change out the actual lock for it to be useful. I try to tell him. I’ve tried to explain. I’ve asked him to list it himself. Instead it just sits there… on a chair in my dining room… and soon to the dump cause I’d rather just have it out one good time over the thing than every time I need it moved or need to clean. I’m tired of looking at it. There are some things I need to list still. I was holding them for relativity so Rocky wouldn’t go get another pallet right away but honestly I could probably repackage the back room now and have room for another Pallet.... I’m not telling him that though because I’m not ready.

I’ve got to go out today and get the things we were supposed to yesterday evening. After cleaning we were supposed to go get some small things from WM. I put it off for 2 reasons #1 all that cleaning had me majorly drunk. I mean.... when Rocky and I passed each other I had to stop and wait for him to move because I couldn’t tell what direction when. He did once say “when this happens I’m standing still waiting for you to go” I responded “that’s not what it looks like” By the time we were in the kitchen I was stumbling everywhere. I managed a skin washing shower (no shave, no hair, just something to get the dirty/seat off) and went to bed. No dinner, no way I could be up anymore.... at 7:30.

I skipped therapy this morning but I made it look like I did it :(. I didn’t do it at all yesterday either… I was focused on getting the house done. As long as I had Rocky’s help I wanted to use it and I knew the moment I was doing something else so was he. I plan on doing it when I get home from the store and if it’s not to bad today I’ll manage to work it in 3 times.... but for now I’ll be counting the skip as 1. every week I do this… Every week there is at least one day I don’t do them at all and several skips during the week. Each week I go and she says “you’ve been doing your homework” and “I’m happy with the progress you are making” so .... whatever. I’m doing it… most of the time but 3 times a day at 30 mins seems excessive and even though I literally have no other obligations I have a bunch of stuff to do. Being as the harder I work the worse it is is still true and I haven’t seen any improvement personally.... well whatever. Sure.... test results.... but I want to be able to clean my house without randomly falling into walls… is that really too much to ask? and if it is.... lets just do the gov. disability and get it over with because I can’t work like that… 12 hr shift and I make it 4 max before I start being dizzy. sigh

I forgot about this entry .... had meant to post it like 6-7 hours ago.... just sayin’