Tongue pop in Current Events

After my little meltdown in my previous entry, I started to wonder about the levels of bacteria in my body. Do I have candida? A lot of people live with it without even knowing so I was aiming to run a little experiment this morning but I forgot. One just needs to spit into a cup of water first thing in the morning and if it branches out like a spider after an hour then you have a bacteria overgrowth. I don’t like the idea of messing around with the bacteria in my body. I don’t like being on antibiotics, I don’t like the idea of fasting and I don’t like consuming too many fermented foods etc. All of that can be done and used safely but I just approach it all cautiously. However, due to always feeling distended I may have been adding a lot of probiotics to my diet so yesterday I decided that I was going to take a break from alcohol and kombucha and fermented foods. If everything could just magically fall into place now that would be great. I could just make an appointment with my doctor but I’m too stubborn for that. Maybe I could see a dietician about all of this? I could also ask them about their journey into that career.

I visited my grandmother yesterday and she is doing swell. I thought that I was going to see her lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and an IV drip… you know, the way I look when I don’t get enough attention. She was sitting on a chair looking out of her window and she seemed perfectly normal to me. Her COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) could act up at any time because of this lung infection so that is why she is at the hospital, just for observation. She will be released early next week. She was quite the chatterbox which is always a pleasure.

My niece celebrated her fourth birthday yesterday and she had the time of her life. Her father set up a slip and slide in the backyard and the kids got to play on it until it rained. The party ended up inside for a couple of hours, in my room lol. Oy, that was stressful. I thought they were going to break something. I’m not good with kids. I had no energy to meal prep and thus I ended up having to wait all day to cook something. They had a huge BBQ and I had to wait to use the kitchen. I made aloo gobi which is an Indian dish that literally translates to potato cauliflower. It was very fragrant and everybody wanted to try it and then comment on it and they loved it. My brother in law made a comment “Isn’t that so nice? That my family just loves your cooking?” I thought he was jealous because there was no hype about the food that he cooked on the grill but he was genuine. I overheard a few people complain about how vegan food makes them poop so they don’t like to each too much of it. I’m just thinking to myself “it must be so weird when your body starts to actually work huh?” I’ll be honest, his mother said something that stressed me right out. She was explaining to everybody that her doctor told her that she needs to eat a lot more meat because she needs more protein. That makes absolutely no sense to me. I keep scratching my head. There is no such thing as a protein deficiency, also she has issues with cholesterol so why is she being told to eat more meat? I am so confused. Also, they were talking about an article that circulated on Facebook about Beyond Meat burgers. How they’re processed and thus not healthier than a beef burger so now everybody that gets all of their opinions from Facebook posts is now afraid to eat plant-based burgers. People like my mother and my siblings. I somehow had to defend that whole franchise.
“It has a lot of calories.”
I’m like “your body needs calories”
“it has a lot of sodium”
I’m like “your body needs sodium”
“plant protein is not as good as meat protein”
I’m like “plants make protein”
The whole conversation got me so flustered. I don’t want to be that preachy vegan. The reason that I am aiming to be a dietician is so that I can help people get what their bodies need. The food industry does not care about your health and the health industry does not care about your food. I’m not going to try and convert anybody, I’ll work with whatever lifestyle they have. I’m pretty sure that my whole career will just be a war against cholesterol. It’s diabetes, it’s heart disease, it’s obesity, it’s cancers and so on and so forth.

Anyways, I bought more minoxidil yesterday. Minoxidil is the acting agent in Rogaine, which is used for hair growth. I’ve been using it for 10 months now, I am trying to grow more facial hair. I can grow a goatee but I am trying to grow a full beard. I can see some results but I thought that it would be more dramatic than this. I was starting to doubt the effectiveness of it until I leaned right into the mirror and noticed that I have a lot of microvilli. They’re like, white so I wasn’t able to notice that. They’re like baby teeth. They will fall out and grow adult teeth so to speak. This whole process will take a few years but I got a little excited. I don’t want to grow a long beard or anything, I just want to sport some scruff. Kind of like a Jon Kortajarena level.

Last night I got a random text from Derek. He is like the purest and sweetest young man that I’ve ever met. He used to work for me. He is very Christian. I had to speak to him once about trying to perform an exorcism on a drunk man that came into our restaurant one night. Like, he was for real. Anyways, one day he found my album on Facebook that had all of my paintings. He fell in love with one of them and had it as his lock screen on his phone so I gave it to him. I wasn’t attached to it, I was just playing around with some spraypaint. Anyways, I was minding my own business when all of a sudden my depression was like “yo! Let’s start thinking about all of your failures!” and I was like “fuck yeah! Let’s do this!” I was looking at all of my art pieces that are on my wall and I was just thinking about how I completely failed to make anything of myself. This was a direction in life that I wanted to take at one point but I gave up on that dream. Killing all of my hopes & dreams is actually my true talent. Then I got this text from Derek.

Trevyana is his wife, she is a Muslim and those two are an interesting mix & match. (They’re both on my gaydar shhhh) Derek wanted to give me money for that little painting but I didn’t want it. His family is filthy rich. He told me that he talked his parents into paying for art school for me also. Totally random but I couldn’t accept that either. Anyways, I actually have a fan lol

Anyways, my sister is guilting me into babysitting again. Her son gets inconsolable sometimes and it freaks me right out. I will literally start to hyperventilate. Why does she keep asking me to do this???

Last updated August 12, 2019