iDumb in Current Events

My grandmother is battling a bad lung infection. I was woken up by my sister yesterday, my grandmother has her listed as an emergency contact, she was informed that my grandmother was rushed to the hospital. I called my mother and long story short they hooked her up to some antibiotics and then she was sent home. My mother called me later in the afternoon to ask me how my grandmother was on Monday when I took her grocery shopping. She was perfectly fine that day. There were no signs that she had a lung infection. I gave my grandmother plenty of time to rest before I called her last night. The conversation was pretty quick, I could tell that she was just not feeling well. I feel bad at the idea of her being alone and scared. When the power went out last month I was asked to go check on her, power outages scare her so much that she cries. Seniors get trapped in their buildings if they are dependant on elevators.

I got word this morning that my grandmother was readmitted to the hospital last night for observation. She is struggling to breathe. My mother doesn’t want to miss a whole day of work so she has asked us to go visit her. I might just do that. I am hoping that my aunt and uncle and cousins are visiting her as well. I assume that they might be but they’re not exactly reliable people. My mother is the one who takes care of everything. My grandmother is a little special needs, my uncle is a washed-up drug dealer, my aunt is also a little special needs and so are three out of her four children. Her oldest son is the one who does not have a developmental delay and is also the one that I took in for a year so he could focus on graduating high school without having to fight with my aunt’s boyfriend.

I’ve just been a little speechless since my last entry. Following the days after my panic attack, I’ve been struggling with my depression. I don’t feel sad, maybe just some adrenal fatigue? I can barely will myself to do anything. I made it a point to get out of the house yesterday and browse Winners, Marshall’s and the mall. I had a list of things that I was going to get but… the prices are better online. I bought a new face scrub from Winners last week and I really liked it so I went back and stockpiled them. I don’t know when they will disappear so I bought a year’s worth. Then I found a facial oil that is infused with 24k gold so I naturally bought all of them. Oops. I’ll either use them up or add them to the care packages that I have been slowly working on for Christmas. I’m so happy that I have access to my credit card again. Apparently, somebody stole my data from my credit card company. Now I have two years of free credit monitoring and identity theft insurance. Oh well.

Tomorrow my niece turns 4. My sister accidentally invited fifty people. Only about thirty will show up. My grandmother lives for these events and I am hoping that she is feeling well enough to join us. My brother in law took two days off of work to be home for it as well. So he will be driving 8 hours to come home after a 12-16 hour shift. Bless him. My other sister is driving in after her shift today to spend the weekend here. I just want to hide in my basement and be antisocial lol. Everybody is in charge of bringing something or whatever but nobody ever asks me to help. I don’t think that is because I am vegan but because I am a grown man and thus I am only expected to just show up. Normally I would just make something that would wow everybody but I have absolutely zero interest in doing that. Just the thought of speaking to somebody is enough to fill me with rage. The main reason I left the house yesterday was to go to Shoppers and buy minoxidil. I went to the one in my area and they didn’t have on the shelf. There was a note “ask the pharmacist for help” and I was like “I would rather have somebody scream Donald Trump’s tweets at me all day until I die of rage than fucking talk to a person” so I went to the Shopper’s at the mall and just as I was approaching it… an employee parked their cart right in front of it so I gave up. I really don’t want to talk to people lol. God, I’m so dumb.