if you meet the buddha on the road in poetry

if you meet the Buddha on the road
take all of his stuff and tell him
“I’m just helping you shed your attachments”

if you meet the Buddha on the road
kill him with kindness
compliment him into oblivion

if you meet the Buddha on the road
try out your best ten minute stand-up set
and just kill, just kill
but try not to die up there on the stage

if you meet the Buddha on the road
kill him
and if he immediately reincarnates
then he wasn’t the Buddha he was
just some kind of Bodhisattva really
the Buddha would leave this karma wheel
with his death, a Bodhisattva is just
impure enough to stay down here and keep teaching
when you meet him again in his new form
tell him he’s not actually the Buddha yet
show off your college minor in comparative religion
be really smug about your knowledge of Buddhism

if you meet the Buddha on the road
the wise men all say
if you meet the Buddha on the road
kill him because, like
you aren’t going to meet the Buddha on the road, baby
everyone’s path is different and you’re
only gonna meet the Buddha inside yourself
anyone you might meet on your own particular road
claiming that she or he is actually the Buddha
that person is either crazy or trying to sell you something
or is both crazy and trying to sell you something
just like everyone else pitching generalized wisdom or morality

so if you meet the Buddha on the road
just keep driving, that ain’t the Buddha
maybe try not to actually kill the guy
keep on driving without distraction
you have to find your own truth inside you

but if you end up hitting him
back over him a couple of times to finish the job quickly
it’s only the humane thing to do